I am not the sort of person to cry very often. Mainly
because I don’t have feelings.
Even more I’m not the type to go around telling people that
I cried.
The reason for my emotional episodes is the death of Adam
‘MCA’ Yauch of the Beastie Boys. I am not the sort of person to be too bothered
by the deaths of celebrities. I can only remember one other celebrity death
that really affected me (Elliott Smith, if you’re interested).
However, The Beastie Boys have a special meaning for me. Not
only are they one of the best bands I have seen live but if it were not for
them, my music tastes would be extremely narrow.
The first Beastie Boys song I heard was Sabotage on MTV when
MTV used to actually play music. Not only did it have a kick arse video, but it
combined rock and rap in a way that I hadn’t thought possible. Until that point
I would pretty much refuse to listen to anything that was not rock music.
My tastes were extremely narrow and I was very close minded.
After hearing Sabotage, I managed to find a copy of Some Old Bullshit in our
local library which I took out and then somehow I acquired Ill Communication on
tape shortly after (I think it might have been left in one of my dad’s company
cars).
From that point on, I was hooked. Whenever I would get into
a conversation about who the best rapper on the planet is, while others reel
out Dre or whoever, I would list my favourites as Ad Rock, MCA and Mike D
(followed later by Mos Def and Snoop) . This always seemed to shock people but
I still maintain that they’re the best I’ve heard. Anyway, that’s probably a
discussion for another time.
The Beasties have such a diverse back catalgoue, jumping
from style to style effortlessly and at the same time brilliantly. Without
them, I’d probably still be listening to Guns ‘n’ Roses and Def Leppard.
Whilst I get annoyed at mass ourpouring of grief over
celebrity deaths, I don’t feel
hypocritical at crying at the death of one of the men who widened my
horizons and probably had more of an impact on my musical tastes than anyone
else.
I am still ashamed of crying on Saturday though, as it was
when I was watching the Coldplay cover of ‘Fight For Your Right To Party.’ I
hate Coldplay. With a passion. The fact that it got to me emotionally made me
realise I must be getting old and liking old people music. Where has my youth
gone? It’s enough to make a man cry.
So, that viral Kony 2012 documentary that has started doing the rounds is pretty darn emotive, isn’t it? Made me want to get up out of my seat and go hunt the bad man down myself.
One of the few things that I have retained from my philosophy degree other than how to argue pretty much any point (if you ever need anyone to play devil’s advocate, then I’m your man) is a degree of scepticism.
When I watched the Invisible Children’s piece of propaganda, I couldn’t help but think that there must be more going on than what they have presented. And I was right. I spent probably as much time watching the video reading articles about their activities and the goings on in Africa.
Invisible Children want to raise awareness of what Joseph Kony and his Lord’s Resistance Army are up to. Which is a brilliant aim. This is an evil man doing evil things and hurting thousands upon thousands of people and forcing thousands more to live in fear.
People should be made aware of him and discussion should be had about the best way to stop him hurting people.
However, it’s not like the world’s political leaders didn’t know about him. This has been going on for 20 years. And it’s not exactly been a secret.
This viral video presents a very one-sided and simplistic view of the situation. I’m not going to attempt to go into the details fully because much more intelligent, well informed and eloquent people have done so and I have provided links at the end of this for you to read.
And I really hope you do read them to make you more informed about the situation. If you still want to go ahead and support this campaign, then that’s great. I love your enthusiasm and dedication to putting the world right. I wish I was more like you at times, in fact. And I love the fact that the film makers seem to be wanting to do that at well.
Deep down, I really just want everyone to get along. Whilst I tease my friend Ben about being a giant hippy, it's partly because I am one myself.
But before you jump on the bandwagon, please please please please make sure you are informed about what you are doing.
Sometimes it is actual possible to do damage by attempting to do good and one thing we should have learnt from recent history is that when the Western world goes into the non-Western world and attempt to change things by force then we can sometimes make things worse.
I am saying this predominantly because of the way that social networking works and how the video has gone viral today.
It would be entirely possible for someone to make a similar video and get people all angry and riled up about someone who doesn’t exist, for example. Please don't just have a knee jerk "we must fix this now!" reaction.
Invisible Children’s stated aim is to make people aware of Joseph Kony. As I’ve said, I think this is a great aim, but don’t just make sure you are aware. Make sure you are informed. Please read these:
This isn’t an unusual occurrence, it actually happens most weeks and I’ll just go into a rant on Twitter about and forget about. However, this week it wasn’t to do with some fundamental disagreement on a political matter, or annoyance that the Tory was the most sensible politician on the panel although this is happening a scary amount of times as I get older.
The thing that annoyed me most was when you used the term “people of no faith” to describe non-religious people.
Now, I am a devout atheist (more on that at some point maybe, although possibly not as I don’t like to force my opinions on others) and so therefore I would fall under your classification of “people of no faith.” However, I feel that this is a very misleading term.
Ok, maybe militant atheists might get offended at the term faith and openly embrace the idea of being someone without faith. I am not one of those people.
I may not have a religion – although saying it like that makes it sound like I am lacking something which I feel I am not – but I have a lot of faith. However, my faith is not faith in someone or something that you cannot see. I have a great faith in humanity. Sometimes, I wonder why, but other times mankind can show itself to be the most wonderful and beautiful thing.
The London riots last year showed me both sides of this. Initially I started to despair at what had happened to humanity but when everyone started to get together for the clean up action afterwards, my faith in people was increased.
I have faith in that people are underneath it all, generally good, moral and generous beings.
I also feel that this faith is stronger than many people’s religious faith as the object of it is tangible. The results are visible. But now is not the time to get into an argument about who is right or wrong on the matter of the big G.
In these days when people get offended by the silliest little slight on themselves or their beliefs and we often have to tip toe around issues, I call for greater acknowledgement and respect of my kind of people as we respect you and your kind (I'm talking about religious people not politicians as clearly politicians rarely get any respect from the public).
So, Ms Reeves, I am not a person of no faith. I am a person of strong faith, just not the kind of faith in invisible people who live in the sky. Please acknowledge this in future.
I was going to write a blog about Valentines day being rubbish but then I realised that the majority of people probably think that way too. Or if they don’t, they probably don’t want me ruining their lovely romantic day by pointing out how silly it all is.
So, instead, I have decided to write about my new love.
We met on Sunday. It was my sister’s birthday and we went out to lunch at the Harvester. My sister is very much like my mother and enjoyed pointing out all the vegetarian options on the menu that I was able to have (All three of them, just in case I’d missed one. It was very helpful).
I had a go on one of those machines you get in the arcades where you try and grab a toy out. For the first time ever, I managed to actually make the grabbing device grab something. It picked up the Wario doll that I had my heart set on, moved it across to the left and then towards me.
I was already celebrating. My family and friends were looking at me with a look that said “you’re 32. Even 8 year old kids don’t get that excited about this.”
Unfortunately Wario is a bit bigger than I had anticipated and is he got to the hatch that he was about to be dropped into, the barrier knocked him out of the grabbing device.
I was distraught. Resolute, I had another go at getting him out but only succeeded in standing him on his head. “No problem”, I thought. “I’ll come back and win him after lunch!” Waiting for the bill, I was very impatient and as soon as it was dealt with, I rushed off to the machine. I was made distraught again to discover that some pikey kid had stolen my Wario toy.
“The only thing to do, “ I thought to myself, “is to go home and have a cup of tea,” because as everyone knows, there is nothing that cannot be fixed by a cup of tea.
I then remembered that my kettle had broken. Fortunately there was a Sainsburys nearby so I stopped off there* and looked at kettles. Within my budget range, there was a black Sainsburys own for £15 or the Presitge 1.7l cordless in sexy white which claimed to light up when boiling for £20.
Anyone who knows me well will know that this was a no brainer for me. Anything that has promises a flashy additional gimmick for a small additional charge will be bought, no questions asked.
Upon getting her home, I noticed not only how well she fits in with her surroundings (see image). She also boils quickly and efficiently, and best of all, when she does, she provides me with her interpretation of the Northern Lights (see below video). She knows how much I want to go see them but also how poor I am and so unlikely to be able to afford to go in some time.
She also makes a damn good cup of tea. I don’t think there’s anything more that I look for in a woman.
So, Presitge 1.7l cordless, will you be my valentine?
* The order of these events has been altered for dramatic effect. I actually bought the kettle before lunch. It was a Sunday and Sainsburys would have been shut by the time we had finished eating. I apologise for any harm caused by this.
I hate running, I really do. I’ve never really seen the point. It’s just transporting yourself from one place to another.
I'm happy to put in the effort to run if I'm playing a sport but on it's own... I just don't get it.
OK, when I was a kid, I wanted to be the fastest in my class. There was something cool about that, like you had a super power or something. The best I achieved was third in what I assume was about a fifty metre sprint on sports day in primary school. When I went to big school and realised that about 50% of the other kids there were better than me, I lost all interest.
But running now, as a grown up, I just don’t get. Why would you get all excited about going out in street and letting everyone see how unfit and out of shape you are?
So the fact that I have signed up to run three miles for Sports Relief might confuse you. It certainly confuses me.
I’m a walking paradox.
I think it’s partly because I know that other people – some of whom I think are less fit than me – can do it. Another thing I am is very competitive. I don’t like thinking that other people are better than me.
I think it’s partly because I am still the least fit member of my football team even after two years of playing and training. I have been putting this down to being the oldest outfield player but that excuse doesn’t really wash when you see players like Ryan Giggs still playing at the highest level.
Ok, I might not be quite as good as him but the fact that he can keep playing at the very top level when he is six years older than me puts my levels of fitness to shame.
For a while I have been saying that I want to do a big run to challenge myself and to prove to myself that I can do it. And then a few weeks ago my friend called my bluff.
I know that three miles isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, when other people are running 26 in one go and there’s a dude I just read about called Dean Karnazes who can literally run forever.
But for me, this will be a great achievement. I tried road running a couple of years ago but struggled as I kept getting shin splints and therefore I concluded that I was never going to be able to do it and gave up. I could just about manage a mile before I had to give up.
Now, my body is a bit better conditioned due to playing football and I have managed to overcome this. I am still physically unfit though, and three miles is a challenge to me. I can manage it on a treadmill but basically fall down dead afterwards however every small milestone brings with it an amazing sense of accomplishment.
This is something I really wish I’d done sooner.
Although that’s partly because I would have a younger body and it would therefore be easier for me.
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I also hate asking people for sponsorship. It’s obvious that you’re going to do whatever I’m sponsoring you to do with or without my money. Well I am anyway. So I feel uncomfortable just going up to people and asking them to give to my charity of choice. But should you wish to sponsor me in my attempt to drag myself along Folkestone seafront without dying, you can do so here.
When I was a kid I wanted to be Sherlock Holmes. I still do.
It was only after watching the first series of the BBC’s Sherlock in anticipation of the second series which aired earlier this month that I was reminded of this. I then subsequently downloaded the Complete Sherlock Holmes onto my shiny new kindle (only 77p on Amazon – bargain) and started re-reading some of the stories that they were based on which really hammered it home.
I had never struck me before how much of an influence over my life he has had. I always wanted to be as smart as him. I’m not sure I have come anywhere near close but his pursuit of knowledge - albeit in a very specific area - and the truth probably had some factor in my choice to study philosophy at university.
My second favourite board game as a child was called 221B Baker Street: The Master Detective (my favourite being Monopoly because I was born to be an a capitalist). The game is essentially Cluedo but with actual clues rather than a process of elimination. My brother dug this game out a couple of years ago and we became obsessed with it again for a short period of time. I also became extremely competitive and refused to acknowledge his victory when he got one tiny detail wrong. Well, Holmes wouldn't have got anything wrong.
In my mind, it is a vastly superior game to Cluedo because of it’s intellectual requirements that I didn’t play Cluedo again until a few months ago round a friend’s house. My desire to be Holmes led to me taking extensive notes on who appeared to be showing whom which card so that I could not only win but reveal to everyone else that I knew exactly which cards they had. Unfortunately my powers aren’t quite up to Holmesian standards and I didn’t win. I did have fajitas though which I consider a sort of victory.
Holmes embodies everything that I value.
He has a Stephen Fry-esque encyclopaedia of knowledge and incredible powers of observation (which I totally lack as my concentration span is basically non-existent). He has a good sense of right and wrong although he isn't afraid to bend this on occasions for the greater good - a sense of utilitarianism which is something I developed during university. He is a master of disguise and I love dressing up and make pretend (yes, I am still a child - more on that at another time).
On top of this, Holmes is able to hold his own in a fight and is a keen boxer. This is not me at all. I used to go kick boxing. I threw up for the first two weeks and then on the third week they told me to take it easy. I didn't go back. I still wished I'd been good at it tough. Excitement and adventure is also never far away for Holmes and I love seeing and experiencing new things.
Along with the fact that he gets paid for doing something he loves, this makes him my hero.
He has had a profound effect on my life. More than I realised and possibly more than anyone else outside of my immediate family.
I like to think that I've got awesome music taste. Actually scrap that. I know I've got awesome music taste. Sometimes the best music isn't the popular music. And a lot of the time, the popular music isn't the best music.
I used to be a bit precious about "my" music and didn't always like it when it became popular and wasn't as special any more because everyone liked it. However, feel privileged that today I have decided to share some hidden gems with you. These are my favourite five bands that only a handful of people have probably heard of, how I discovered them and why you should like them.
1. Evil Superstars
I'm an undercover pedestrian, spreading the love germ
Evil Superstars are the third best band to come out of Belgium in the last twenty years and hold a special place in my heart. I was writing a music column for our local newspaper almost 14 years ago and randomly got sent the single for B.A.B.Y. I was blown away. Bands of the time weren't making music like that. This was a time when the Manic Street Preachers were turning mainstream and when boybands and girl bands were the flavour of the month.
I remember the exact time when I first listened to the song. A friend from school had popped round to pick something up and I'd just put the single in. It was just so dirty and completely unlike anything else I'd heard in a while - dirty both in the sounds of the music and lyrically.
Not all of their songs are like this. Like their contemporaries dEUS who I can't help comparing them to, they are also able to produce beautiful music. Singer Mauro Pawlowski now plays guitar for dEUS and I was fortunate enough to interview him on the phone after the release of Boogie Children-R-Us. He sounded like a man who genuinely loved making music and realised how lucky he was to be able to make a living from doing so. He promised me he would make music "until I fucking die."
2. Quasi
Love was a problem for our ancestors, it's not such a problem any more
Sam Coomes and Janet Weiss show the White Stripes what ex-husband and wife two pieces should sound like. In fact, I'd go as far as to say they're the best ex-husband and wife two piece that has ever existed. Although I have just discovered that they now have a full time bassist, so I should probably change the tense in that last sentence although I can't be bothered to do so now.
I saw them when they were supporting Elliott Smith. Sam and Elliott used to be in Heatmiser together and Elliott occasionally helped out by playing bass for Quasi. Janet was the drummer in Sleater-Kinney and it seems that these along with some of their other projects were always due to overshadow Quasi.
Sam plays a rocksichord - an instrument so rare that I remember something happening to the one Sam used to play with (either stolen or broken) and him struggling to find a replacement for it. It makes the band's sound completely unique, especially with the way Coomes jumps on and clings off his instrument.
With intelligent lyrics and poppy melodies, Quasi should be way more popular than they are although with so many side projects, the band's releases and touring schedule is quite sporadic.
3. Freedom For King Kong
Des maux contractés à force de trop marcher, même les poètes en ont mal aux pieds
When I first visited Paris, I went into a couple of record shops while the girl I was seeing at the time did some clothes shopping. My French has been poor ever since I somehow scraped a C in my GCSE but I did manage to work out where the ska-punk section was and randomly picked up a couple of compilation CDs.
On one of these there was a live version of song called Babylone by Freedom For King Kong. I'd struggle to call it ska-punk but I was hooked. In fact, I have often struggled to define the sound of the band. My attempts usually end up something like "electro-rock.... awesomeness with a guy rapping over the top.... in French" but the band's Myspace (remember that?) has them down as Alternative/Metal/Rap so we'll go with that.
The band went on a permanent hiatus in 2007 are so obscure now that even their own website doesn't appear to work any more.
Having just translated the lyrics to this song through Babelfish, it appears to be about dreams in dreams, so the band also have a good case for having written one of the most lauded films of the last few years.
4. The Pecadiloes
You say you've lots and lots of money, I'd get down on my knees to get some
The Pecadiloes are another band that I got sent a CD of when writing for the local paper. They qualify as the most obscure band on this list by virtue of the fact that they don't have a website or a Wikipedia page. They are however mentioned in passing in the first chapter of the novel Kill Your Friends by John Niven which I read last year. That made me excited to read the rest of the book but I wouldn't bother if I was you - it's just American Psycho uprooted and dumped down in the music industry.
I missed the chance to see them when they played at the Penny Theatre as I had no-one to go along with as I hadn't convinced anyone else how awesome they were which I have always been a little bit disappointed about, especially as the band seemed to split after just the one album - Caught on Venus.
Again, they sounded different to anything at the time, so I can see why their label found it not to be commercially viable to keep them around (I am assuming that anyone making music this amazing wouldn't split up of their own accord after just one record) but it has always made me a bit disappointed that the record industry revolves around sales rather than talent.
5. Ed Harcourt
If you need to kiss me then you'll most definitely miss me when I'm gone. God you make me sing funny things about you.
Ok, so technically, Mr Harcourt isn't a band but his music is too beautiful to leave off this list.
I first saw him at V2001 and then saw him for only the second time at Glastonbury 2010. Both times I just stared in awesome. He's got an incredibly unique voice and uses it to great effect crafting lovely melodies over lovely music.
I can't really say anything else without just repeatedly gushing and using the words "beautiful" and "lovely" over and over again. All I can say is check him out and thank me later.
*Unless I’ve forced you to listen to them or your tastes are as awesome as mine.
