I finally got round to writing my letter to Santa this year. As I might have missed the last post, I've decided to type it up in the hopes that he sees it one way or another.
Dear Santa,
I know I only write to you once a year. I really should try to keep in touch more, and I can only apologise for this. However, it is a two-way relationship and you can feel free to stop by any time for a cup of tea. If you let me know in advance, I'll get those cookies you like.
It's difficult to stay in touch tough - you seem to get busier the older you get and I can only assume that you've had to get the elves working even earlier this year with the world's population continuing to grow. I've lost touch with a few people that I used to be close with. I say this every year but I will try to do better at keeping in touch.
I think I've been quite good this year. I have been giving more to charity and I've been trying to help others when I can, so I'm hoping that I'm on the nice list. Therefore, I've got a few special things I'm asking for this year.
Whilst 2016 was a good year for me personally as I got engaged, it wasn't too great for the rest of the world. Let's start with the big one - politics. With the results of the EU referendum (is Lapland in the EU? I don't know), Donald Fart winning the US presidential election and the murder of Jo Cox MP, it seems like the right wing - specifically the extreme right - is on the rise.
I was hoping you might be able to do something about this? Maybe not remove all these people in power (although if you can get rid of Darth May, that would be excellent), but make people generally more tolerant and caring of other people, animals and the environment, then that would make me exceptionally happy. Less authoritarianism and more tolerance would be great. Perhaps you got some conservative MPs George Orwell's 1984 for Christmas last year? If so, can you please remind them that it is a dystopian novel and not a handbook on how to govern.
Next up is celebrities. Now, I'm not much of a celeb spotter. I don't know who at least two thirds of the humans on I'm A Celebrity are, but the rate at which they have been dying this year is ridiculous. I know that death is a natural and inevitable part of life, and also necessary otherwise your poor elves would never have a day off. But the rate at which people - cool people - have been going is ridiculous. Could you ask death to take someone that people don't like once in a while , such as Piers Morgan or Katie Hopkins?
Anyway, I know all of that is a lot to ask, and some of it is probably outside of your control, so if it can't be done, then some new socks will be fine.
Yours sincerely,
Stewart Cork
p.s. I know that I've been arguing quite a lot with people on the Hythe Residents Facebook page. I hope that hasn't got me on the naughty list. I'm just trying to stand up for all the people that need housing against the NIMBYs. You might not have that problem in Lapland as there's a lot of space there.
Wednesday 21 December 2016
Monday 12 December 2016
2016 Reading Challenge
Natalie challenged me to do the 2016 reading challenge on 9gag
I love reading and I love challenges, so here goes! This required me to read 42 books. As I read over 60 last year, albeit aided by the fact I was spending two hours a day on a train, I thought I should be able to manage it!
I only just managed it with a few weeks to spare. I found that it forced me to read books that I perhaps wouldn't have read otherwise, which is a good thing. However, having to find books that fit certain categories meant that my pile of books to read (which is currently about 3 feet tall) didn't get much smaller. As such, I won't be doing a similar challenge next year as I want to try to get through as much of this pile as possible.
Below is a list of all the books that I picked and which category I picked them for. However, I will just list my 5 favourite books (in no particular order) that I read as part of this challenge and why.
Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory
I know people who have liked Iain Banks/Iain M Banks for years. I can't believe it took me so long to read one of his books for the first time. I borrowed this from the library and it was so good that I bought a copy from a charity shop straight after so that Jo can read it too. You really get into the mind of the character, and it is really engaging. The ending really surprised me as well, and it's always nice to get that engaged and still to not know where it is going.
Nathan Filer - Shock of the Fall
This was recommended to me by my sister-in-law and she picked a good one! It was partly inspired by the Wasp Factory - which Filer notes at the end of the book - and I had been able to tell that as I was reading. It was a very powerful book, and out of everything I read this year, was the most difficult book to put down.
Khaled Kosseni - The Kite Runner
A lot of people apparently hated this book. It was a book chosen as one about a culture I did not know about. The story involves a boy who moved from Afghanistan to America as a young child and goes back as an adult to deal with a problem. Again, I loved how you totally get into the mind of the main character. All of them are well written and you really start to feel for them. A great thing for a book to make you do.
Caitlin Moran - How to be a Woman
This was a book written by a celebrity, and is not a how to but an analysis of feminism and the problems that are still faced by women in society. It is also funny. I enjoyed reading this for both reasons.
Agatha Christie - Cat Among The Pigeons
I didn't realise this was a Poirot book until I was part of the way through it. It was frustrating at times, but this was only due to dramatic irony. Christie is obviously a world class crime writer and I really enjoy whodunnits.
And the award for the worst book I read this year is tied between James Dashner - The Maze Runner and Kristen Simmons - Article 5. Avoid both at all costs.
A book based on a fairytale - Vivan Vande Velde - The Rumpelstiltskin Problem. Read while on holiday between 24 September and 1 October.
This was interesting. A guy who found problems with the story of Rumpelstiltskin and rewrote the story several times to deal with the problem. It was nice, but difficult to read all in one go due to the stories being so similar.
A National Book Award winner - Let the Great World Spin. Started on holiday between 24 Sept and 1 Oct. Finished 3d October,
This was really good. It is written in about 15 sections, each of which is from a different person's perspective. They don't all tie up neatly. Reading the second one, I was very confused about how it could possibly link to the first as it changed completely. Nevertheless, it was really good, really enjoyable.
A YA bestseller. Suzanne Collins: Hunger Games. Started 19th Jan, finished 3rd Feb.
I had wanted to read this for a while. Even though it is just Battle Royale. Which apparently the author had never heard of when she started writing this. It was engrossing and easy to read. Went through the 450 pages in no time when I had a chance to read. Will definitely be reading the others.
A book you haven't read since high school: Lord of the Flies. Started 10 February, finished 17 February
I studied this for GCSE English and remembered enjoying it. It turns out I didn't remember much of it. There's so much that I'd forgotten and so much that I am sure I wouldn't have understood fully when I was younger either. This was quite enlightening and might even tempt me to re-read Wuthering Heights which is my most hated book.
A book set in your home state - HE Bates - The Darling Buds of May. Read during November
Apparently this is set in Kent, although I didn't notice any references during the book. It was quite short but pretty enjoyable. I'd forgotten pretty much everything about the TV show so wasn't sure what was coming. There are questionable morals within the book but it is really well written and easy to read.
A book translated to English. Jonas Jonasson. The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden. Started 10th May. Finished 24th May.
I had read the 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed out A Window and Disappeared which I loved. This was possibly even better. The style of writing is really easy and fun to just dive into.
A romance set in the future - Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse 5. Started 19th September. Finished 23rd September.
Not set in my future as such, but the future from when this was written. It was a bit confusing. I had only read one book by Vonnegut before - Welcome to the Monkey House - but I liked it so much that it made it onto my list of favourite books when I wrote it in 2014. I had recently read it, so that is probably why it was on there. This seemed different to me, although I'll probably re-read it at some point to try to fully digest it as I did get a wee bit lost.
A book set in Europe - Milan Kundera - The Joke. Started 31st October. Finished in November.
This was a bit difficult to follow at first due to the changing perspectives but once I got my head around it, it was really good. Kundera has a good grasp on how to write a satirical novel. It was also a little frightening that a joke can be taken so out of context and cause so many problems for one person. Quite relevant now Darth May has enacted her snoopers charter.
A book that's under 150 pages. Thomas Pynchon. The Crying of Lot 49. Started 22nd April, Finished 29th April.
This is a book that inspired Radiohead who I was obsessed with when I was at university. I have been intending to read it since then but only just got around to it. It's good. It's not what I was expecting, but it's good.
A New York Times bestseller. Nick Hornby - Slam. Started 1st September. Finished 3rd September.
This was so easy to read. I love Hornby's stuff and initially I wasn't sure if I'd get into this one but after a few chapters I was hooked and blasted through it. Lovely stuff.
A book that's becoming a movie this year. Marvel: Civil War. Started 18 February. Finished 23rd February.
I love comics! Yeah! A way to get an extra graphic novel on this list. I only started reading them properly a few years ago, and then it was primarily Batman. It's nice to read a wider range, although I get lost by all the characters and stories that there are.
A book recommended by someone you just met - Upton Sinclair - The Jungle. Started 17th October. Finished 31st October.
This was recommended by a guy in Foyles who looked at the other two books I had in their 3 for 2 offer and helped me find something which he thought I would like. It was really interesting to see a depiction of how the working poor lived in early 20th century America. There are a lot of similarities to problems that are inherent in the culture these days and it is disheartening to see that over 100 years later, we haven't - as a culture - managed to solve them yet.
A self-improvement book. Nigel Watts - Teach Yourself Writing a Novel. Started 18th July. Finished 23rd July.
I have been wanting to write a novel for quite some time. I've had the outline of an idea and this helped motivate me to do some more work on it and gave me ideas of the technical things to think about.
A book you can finish in a day. Neil Gaiman. How the Marquis Got His Coat Back. Read on the morning of Friday 22nd April
I love Gaiman's style. It really draws you in. I don't think I'd read any of the Neverwhere books before but it wasn't too difficult to understand what was going on. I recommend for an hour long read.
A book written by a celebrity. Caitlin Moran. How to Be a Woman. Started 29th April. Finished 10th May.
I really enjoyed this. I like to think I'm liberal and egalitarian but it was great reading this to get more of a female perspective and all that.
A political memoir - Barack Obama - The Audacity of Hope. Started 12th July. Finished 19th September.
This was enjoyable, especially so because it was written before he became the candidate for President. It filled me in on his previous life, and some of the workings of the US election system. The bit when he met Michelle was also quite cute.
A book that's at least 100 years older than you. William Shakespeare. Taming of the Shrew. Started 6th June. Finished: 7th June.
We saw this on 11th June. I read it in two days in advance. I enjoyed it, although the male/female dynamic in the play is awkward.
A book that's more than 600 pages. Leo Tolstoy. War and Peace. Started 3rd January. Finished 15th July.
Full Blog Post as it is on my bucket list.
A book from Oprah's Book Club. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. 100 Years of Solitude. Read during November.
I had read this when I was much younger. It was difficult to follow with all the Spanish naming conventions and everyone having very similar names. I liked it though, but I lost the flow of the whole novel at times.
A science-fiction novel. HG Wells - War of the Worlds. Started 23rd July. Finished 2nd August.
HG Wells lives down the road from me. Or he used to. His house is still there. And I guess it's not literally down the street. You have to go round the corner as well. I've wanted to read this for a long time - ever since I heard the David Essex soundtrack back when I was around 8, and I finally got around to it. I really enjoyed it. I felt it was a much easier to read than The Island of Doctor Moreau which I had read earlier this year. Two thumbs up.
A book recommended by a family member. Nathan Filer. The Shock of the Fall. Started 11th August. Finished 16th August.
I asked my sister-in-law Hannah to recommend a book and she picked this. It reminded me of the Wasp Factory which I had read a week or so previously, and I discovered that in the interview at the back, he mentioned Iain Bank's Frank. It was good, and the first book to make me cry in a really long time.
A book that is published in 2016. JK Rowling. Harry Potter - all three Pottermore Presents books.
These were fun if not the extra stories that I was hoping for. It was nice that some character details were filled in, and it was cool to hear some bits from JK Rowling on the decisions she made in writing the books. It was also nice to have a recap of some of the key story points (as they tie in with certain characters biographies) shortly before going to watch the play in November.
A Graphic Novel. Chuck Palahniuk - Fight Club 2. Started 20th July, Finished 22nd July.
It was interesting, if a little odd at times. It was maybe trying to be a bit too meta and to push the conventions of graphic novels in general (such as being able to read what people were saying). It also didn't really show how it got from the end of the original novel to this. Not bad, but not great.
A book with a protagonist who has your occupation. Rosy Barnes. Sadomasochism for Accountants. Read while on holiday between 24 Sep and 1 Oct.
There aren't many books or stories with accountants in at all. The only other one I can think of is The Producers. I quite like my job. I'm good at it, but I'll be the first to admit it isn't very exciting or interesting to people who don't do it. The idea of taking accountants and putting them in a fetish club scenario was quite amusing. I quite enjoyed this book. It was good holiday reading.
A book that takes place during summer. The Great Gatsby. Started 16th August. Finished 23rd August.
I read this for the first time last year. As soon as I finished reading it, I thought that I wanted to read it again. This gave me the perfect excuse. It was better second time around, definitely. I did struggle every time a character said "of" and not "have" to not then rip up the whole book, though.
A book and it's prequel. James Dashner. Maze Runner and Kill Order. Started 4th October. Finished 17th October.
These books are so badly written. I really don't know what to say about them. The most annoying this is that there are a few interesting ideas but there is never any payoff. You never get to understand what has caused this world to be. That's on top of all the poor storytelling, lack of emotional connection with the characters. I am annoyed by the person on Goodreads who suggested these two books for this challenge.
A murder mystery. Agatha Christie. Cat Among The Pigeons. Started 15th March. Finished 21st March.
I didn't realise this was a Poirot book when I started reading it. It was enjoyable yet frustration. The employment of dramatic irony just made me want to jump into the book, shout at characters and tell them what was going on!
A book written by a comedian. Simon Pegg - Nerd Do Well. Started 3rd September.
This was another autobiography and I found it really interesting. There were some fiction bits in amongst the anecdotes which were ok but I found superfluous to requirements. The discussion about decisions made whilst making some of my favourite TV shows and films was enjoyable and there was also a lot of discussion that would be more suited to a film studies lesson - which I enjoyed.
A dystopian novel. Kristen Simmons. Article 5. Started 23rd February. Finished 11th March.
This was easily the worst book I'd read so far. It made me hate the main character which is never a good state to be in. It was similar in style and target audience to the Hunger Games but didn't grip me in the same way and was much more poorly written.
A book with a blue cover: Ray Bradbury. We'll Always Have Paris. Started 28th April. Finished 10th May.
A book of short stories, some of them were brilliant and engaging.
A book of poetry. Shakespeare's Sonnets. Started 14th January. Finished 19th January.
I read Bill Bryson's Shakespeare biography over Christmas. Whilst going to a performance of every one of his plays is on my bucket list, I hadn't paid much attention to the poetry before. I was quite surprised. It was more engaging than I expected it to be, and also it was interesting to note that not everything rhymed when it was supposed to, so it showed how much the English language had changed in the last 400 years.
The first book you see in a bookstore. JK Rowling - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Read 5th - 10th December.
This is probably the first book everyone sees in any bookstore for the latter half of this year. Each book shop seems to have about 50,000 copies of it.
This book is the script to the play. I didn't want to read it until after I had seen the play. This was a good idea, because the script on it's own isn't anywhere near as good as seeing the play, and I can understand why some fans weren't too impressed by it. I didn't like the time travel element but this is mainly because I don't like time travel but I understand what it was trying to do. I think I'd have preferred a new story entirely but enjoyable nonetheless.
A classic from the 20th Century. Brideshead Revisited. Started 2nd August. Finished 10th August.
I had no idea what this book was going to be about but the name had always intrigued me. In feel, for some reason it felt like an English Great Gatsby. Unlike some classics, I found it quite easy to follow and enjoyed it.
A book from the library. Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory. Started July 29th. Finished August 2nd.
I can't believe I hadn't read this before. It is awesome. If you've not read it, I recommend it. The way it reveals information piece by piece is very well done. It's a really well written and well structured book. And the end. Did not see that coming.
An autobiography. John Cleese. So Anyway... Started 27th May. Finished: 14th June.
This only really goes up to the start of the Pythons. Enjoyable, you really get a sense of who John Cleese is.
A book about a road trip. Terry Darlington. Narrow Dog To Carcassonne. Started 21st March. Finished 20th April.
Technically a book about a boat trip. A retired couple who - against pretty much all advice - sail a narrow boat across the channel and to the south of France. Enjoyable and stylistically the writing reminded me a bit of how my dad writes.
A book about a culture you are unfamiliar with. The Kite Runner. Started 23rd August. Finished 1st September.
About Afrghanistan and a boy who leaves to go to America and returns a man. A lot of people said they didn't get on with this buy I'm not sure why. It pulled at the heartstrings well and while some bits seemed predictable, there were twists and turns. I found this easy to read and would definitely recommend.
A satirical book. Voltaire - Candide. Started reading 23rd September. Finished early October.
I read this whilst on Holiday. I've forgotten what I thought about this.
A book that takes place on an island. The Island of Dr Moreau. Started June 20th. Finished July 18th.
I picked this partly due to it's significance in Orphan Black. It was good, but at times I struggled to get into it.
A book that's guaranteed to bring you joy. Bill Bryson. The Road to Little Dribbling. Started 12th September. Finished 19th September
I assumed this would bring me joy as I've really liked Bryson's other work and I like his writing style. It was still amusing in places but he has turned into a bit of a grumpy old man now.
I love reading and I love challenges, so here goes! This required me to read 42 books. As I read over 60 last year, albeit aided by the fact I was spending two hours a day on a train, I thought I should be able to manage it!
I only just managed it with a few weeks to spare. I found that it forced me to read books that I perhaps wouldn't have read otherwise, which is a good thing. However, having to find books that fit certain categories meant that my pile of books to read (which is currently about 3 feet tall) didn't get much smaller. As such, I won't be doing a similar challenge next year as I want to try to get through as much of this pile as possible.
Below is a list of all the books that I picked and which category I picked them for. However, I will just list my 5 favourite books (in no particular order) that I read as part of this challenge and why.
Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory
I know people who have liked Iain Banks/Iain M Banks for years. I can't believe it took me so long to read one of his books for the first time. I borrowed this from the library and it was so good that I bought a copy from a charity shop straight after so that Jo can read it too. You really get into the mind of the character, and it is really engaging. The ending really surprised me as well, and it's always nice to get that engaged and still to not know where it is going.Nathan Filer - Shock of the Fall
This was recommended to me by my sister-in-law and she picked a good one! It was partly inspired by the Wasp Factory - which Filer notes at the end of the book - and I had been able to tell that as I was reading. It was a very powerful book, and out of everything I read this year, was the most difficult book to put down.
Khaled Kosseni - The Kite Runner
A lot of people apparently hated this book. It was a book chosen as one about a culture I did not know about. The story involves a boy who moved from Afghanistan to America as a young child and goes back as an adult to deal with a problem. Again, I loved how you totally get into the mind of the main character. All of them are well written and you really start to feel for them. A great thing for a book to make you do.
Caitlin Moran - How to be a Woman
This was a book written by a celebrity, and is not a how to but an analysis of feminism and the problems that are still faced by women in society. It is also funny. I enjoyed reading this for both reasons.
Agatha Christie - Cat Among The Pigeons
I didn't realise this was a Poirot book until I was part of the way through it. It was frustrating at times, but this was only due to dramatic irony. Christie is obviously a world class crime writer and I really enjoy whodunnits.
And the award for the worst book I read this year is tied between James Dashner - The Maze Runner and Kristen Simmons - Article 5. Avoid both at all costs.
A book based on a fairytale - Vivan Vande Velde - The Rumpelstiltskin Problem. Read while on holiday between 24 September and 1 October.
This was interesting. A guy who found problems with the story of Rumpelstiltskin and rewrote the story several times to deal with the problem. It was nice, but difficult to read all in one go due to the stories being so similar.
A National Book Award winner - Let the Great World Spin. Started on holiday between 24 Sept and 1 Oct. Finished 3d October,
This was really good. It is written in about 15 sections, each of which is from a different person's perspective. They don't all tie up neatly. Reading the second one, I was very confused about how it could possibly link to the first as it changed completely. Nevertheless, it was really good, really enjoyable.
A YA bestseller. Suzanne Collins: Hunger Games. Started 19th Jan, finished 3rd Feb.
I had wanted to read this for a while. Even though it is just Battle Royale. Which apparently the author had never heard of when she started writing this. It was engrossing and easy to read. Went through the 450 pages in no time when I had a chance to read. Will definitely be reading the others.
A book you haven't read since high school: Lord of the Flies. Started 10 February, finished 17 February
I studied this for GCSE English and remembered enjoying it. It turns out I didn't remember much of it. There's so much that I'd forgotten and so much that I am sure I wouldn't have understood fully when I was younger either. This was quite enlightening and might even tempt me to re-read Wuthering Heights which is my most hated book.
A book set in your home state - HE Bates - The Darling Buds of May. Read during November
Apparently this is set in Kent, although I didn't notice any references during the book. It was quite short but pretty enjoyable. I'd forgotten pretty much everything about the TV show so wasn't sure what was coming. There are questionable morals within the book but it is really well written and easy to read.
A book translated to English. Jonas Jonasson. The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden. Started 10th May. Finished 24th May.
I had read the 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed out A Window and Disappeared which I loved. This was possibly even better. The style of writing is really easy and fun to just dive into.
A romance set in the future - Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse 5. Started 19th September. Finished 23rd September.
Not set in my future as such, but the future from when this was written. It was a bit confusing. I had only read one book by Vonnegut before - Welcome to the Monkey House - but I liked it so much that it made it onto my list of favourite books when I wrote it in 2014. I had recently read it, so that is probably why it was on there. This seemed different to me, although I'll probably re-read it at some point to try to fully digest it as I did get a wee bit lost.
A book set in Europe - Milan Kundera - The Joke. Started 31st October. Finished in November.
This was a bit difficult to follow at first due to the changing perspectives but once I got my head around it, it was really good. Kundera has a good grasp on how to write a satirical novel. It was also a little frightening that a joke can be taken so out of context and cause so many problems for one person. Quite relevant now Darth May has enacted her snoopers charter.
A book that's under 150 pages. Thomas Pynchon. The Crying of Lot 49. Started 22nd April, Finished 29th April.
This is a book that inspired Radiohead who I was obsessed with when I was at university. I have been intending to read it since then but only just got around to it. It's good. It's not what I was expecting, but it's good.
A New York Times bestseller. Nick Hornby - Slam. Started 1st September. Finished 3rd September.
This was so easy to read. I love Hornby's stuff and initially I wasn't sure if I'd get into this one but after a few chapters I was hooked and blasted through it. Lovely stuff.
A book that's becoming a movie this year. Marvel: Civil War. Started 18 February. Finished 23rd February.
I love comics! Yeah! A way to get an extra graphic novel on this list. I only started reading them properly a few years ago, and then it was primarily Batman. It's nice to read a wider range, although I get lost by all the characters and stories that there are.
A book recommended by someone you just met - Upton Sinclair - The Jungle. Started 17th October. Finished 31st October.
This was recommended by a guy in Foyles who looked at the other two books I had in their 3 for 2 offer and helped me find something which he thought I would like. It was really interesting to see a depiction of how the working poor lived in early 20th century America. There are a lot of similarities to problems that are inherent in the culture these days and it is disheartening to see that over 100 years later, we haven't - as a culture - managed to solve them yet.
A self-improvement book. Nigel Watts - Teach Yourself Writing a Novel. Started 18th July. Finished 23rd July.
I have been wanting to write a novel for quite some time. I've had the outline of an idea and this helped motivate me to do some more work on it and gave me ideas of the technical things to think about.
A book you can finish in a day. Neil Gaiman. How the Marquis Got His Coat Back. Read on the morning of Friday 22nd April
I love Gaiman's style. It really draws you in. I don't think I'd read any of the Neverwhere books before but it wasn't too difficult to understand what was going on. I recommend for an hour long read.
A book written by a celebrity. Caitlin Moran. How to Be a Woman. Started 29th April. Finished 10th May.
I really enjoyed this. I like to think I'm liberal and egalitarian but it was great reading this to get more of a female perspective and all that.
A political memoir - Barack Obama - The Audacity of Hope. Started 12th July. Finished 19th September.
This was enjoyable, especially so because it was written before he became the candidate for President. It filled me in on his previous life, and some of the workings of the US election system. The bit when he met Michelle was also quite cute.
A book that's at least 100 years older than you. William Shakespeare. Taming of the Shrew. Started 6th June. Finished: 7th June.
We saw this on 11th June. I read it in two days in advance. I enjoyed it, although the male/female dynamic in the play is awkward.
A book that's more than 600 pages. Leo Tolstoy. War and Peace. Started 3rd January. Finished 15th July.
Full Blog Post as it is on my bucket list.
A book from Oprah's Book Club. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. 100 Years of Solitude. Read during November.
I had read this when I was much younger. It was difficult to follow with all the Spanish naming conventions and everyone having very similar names. I liked it though, but I lost the flow of the whole novel at times.
A science-fiction novel. HG Wells - War of the Worlds. Started 23rd July. Finished 2nd August.
HG Wells lives down the road from me. Or he used to. His house is still there. And I guess it's not literally down the street. You have to go round the corner as well. I've wanted to read this for a long time - ever since I heard the David Essex soundtrack back when I was around 8, and I finally got around to it. I really enjoyed it. I felt it was a much easier to read than The Island of Doctor Moreau which I had read earlier this year. Two thumbs up.
A book recommended by a family member. Nathan Filer. The Shock of the Fall. Started 11th August. Finished 16th August.
I asked my sister-in-law Hannah to recommend a book and she picked this. It reminded me of the Wasp Factory which I had read a week or so previously, and I discovered that in the interview at the back, he mentioned Iain Bank's Frank. It was good, and the first book to make me cry in a really long time.
A book that is published in 2016. JK Rowling. Harry Potter - all three Pottermore Presents books.
These were fun if not the extra stories that I was hoping for. It was nice that some character details were filled in, and it was cool to hear some bits from JK Rowling on the decisions she made in writing the books. It was also nice to have a recap of some of the key story points (as they tie in with certain characters biographies) shortly before going to watch the play in November.
A Graphic Novel. Chuck Palahniuk - Fight Club 2. Started 20th July, Finished 22nd July.
It was interesting, if a little odd at times. It was maybe trying to be a bit too meta and to push the conventions of graphic novels in general (such as being able to read what people were saying). It also didn't really show how it got from the end of the original novel to this. Not bad, but not great.
A book with a protagonist who has your occupation. Rosy Barnes. Sadomasochism for Accountants. Read while on holiday between 24 Sep and 1 Oct.
There aren't many books or stories with accountants in at all. The only other one I can think of is The Producers. I quite like my job. I'm good at it, but I'll be the first to admit it isn't very exciting or interesting to people who don't do it. The idea of taking accountants and putting them in a fetish club scenario was quite amusing. I quite enjoyed this book. It was good holiday reading.
A book that takes place during summer. The Great Gatsby. Started 16th August. Finished 23rd August.
I read this for the first time last year. As soon as I finished reading it, I thought that I wanted to read it again. This gave me the perfect excuse. It was better second time around, definitely. I did struggle every time a character said "of" and not "have" to not then rip up the whole book, though.
A book and it's prequel. James Dashner. Maze Runner and Kill Order. Started 4th October. Finished 17th October.
These books are so badly written. I really don't know what to say about them. The most annoying this is that there are a few interesting ideas but there is never any payoff. You never get to understand what has caused this world to be. That's on top of all the poor storytelling, lack of emotional connection with the characters. I am annoyed by the person on Goodreads who suggested these two books for this challenge.
A murder mystery. Agatha Christie. Cat Among The Pigeons. Started 15th March. Finished 21st March.
I didn't realise this was a Poirot book when I started reading it. It was enjoyable yet frustration. The employment of dramatic irony just made me want to jump into the book, shout at characters and tell them what was going on!
A book written by a comedian. Simon Pegg - Nerd Do Well. Started 3rd September.
This was another autobiography and I found it really interesting. There were some fiction bits in amongst the anecdotes which were ok but I found superfluous to requirements. The discussion about decisions made whilst making some of my favourite TV shows and films was enjoyable and there was also a lot of discussion that would be more suited to a film studies lesson - which I enjoyed.
A dystopian novel. Kristen Simmons. Article 5. Started 23rd February. Finished 11th March.
This was easily the worst book I'd read so far. It made me hate the main character which is never a good state to be in. It was similar in style and target audience to the Hunger Games but didn't grip me in the same way and was much more poorly written.
A book with a blue cover: Ray Bradbury. We'll Always Have Paris. Started 28th April. Finished 10th May.
A book of short stories, some of them were brilliant and engaging.
A book of poetry. Shakespeare's Sonnets. Started 14th January. Finished 19th January.
I read Bill Bryson's Shakespeare biography over Christmas. Whilst going to a performance of every one of his plays is on my bucket list, I hadn't paid much attention to the poetry before. I was quite surprised. It was more engaging than I expected it to be, and also it was interesting to note that not everything rhymed when it was supposed to, so it showed how much the English language had changed in the last 400 years.
The first book you see in a bookstore. JK Rowling - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Read 5th - 10th December.
This is probably the first book everyone sees in any bookstore for the latter half of this year. Each book shop seems to have about 50,000 copies of it.
This book is the script to the play. I didn't want to read it until after I had seen the play. This was a good idea, because the script on it's own isn't anywhere near as good as seeing the play, and I can understand why some fans weren't too impressed by it. I didn't like the time travel element but this is mainly because I don't like time travel but I understand what it was trying to do. I think I'd have preferred a new story entirely but enjoyable nonetheless.
A classic from the 20th Century. Brideshead Revisited. Started 2nd August. Finished 10th August.
I had no idea what this book was going to be about but the name had always intrigued me. In feel, for some reason it felt like an English Great Gatsby. Unlike some classics, I found it quite easy to follow and enjoyed it.
A book from the library. Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory. Started July 29th. Finished August 2nd.
I can't believe I hadn't read this before. It is awesome. If you've not read it, I recommend it. The way it reveals information piece by piece is very well done. It's a really well written and well structured book. And the end. Did not see that coming.
An autobiography. John Cleese. So Anyway... Started 27th May. Finished: 14th June.
This only really goes up to the start of the Pythons. Enjoyable, you really get a sense of who John Cleese is.
A book about a road trip. Terry Darlington. Narrow Dog To Carcassonne. Started 21st March. Finished 20th April.
Technically a book about a boat trip. A retired couple who - against pretty much all advice - sail a narrow boat across the channel and to the south of France. Enjoyable and stylistically the writing reminded me a bit of how my dad writes.
A book about a culture you are unfamiliar with. The Kite Runner. Started 23rd August. Finished 1st September.
About Afrghanistan and a boy who leaves to go to America and returns a man. A lot of people said they didn't get on with this buy I'm not sure why. It pulled at the heartstrings well and while some bits seemed predictable, there were twists and turns. I found this easy to read and would definitely recommend.
A satirical book. Voltaire - Candide. Started reading 23rd September. Finished early October.
I read this whilst on Holiday. I've forgotten what I thought about this.
A book that takes place on an island. The Island of Dr Moreau. Started June 20th. Finished July 18th.
I picked this partly due to it's significance in Orphan Black. It was good, but at times I struggled to get into it.
A book that's guaranteed to bring you joy. Bill Bryson. The Road to Little Dribbling. Started 12th September. Finished 19th September
I assumed this would bring me joy as I've really liked Bryson's other work and I like his writing style. It was still amusing in places but he has turned into a bit of a grumpy old man now.
Monday 7 November 2016
Harry Potter and the Politician’s Wig
It was a very large but dark and scary room. A lot of
menacing people were around him. He didn’t know what he was saying but he was
saying in with menace and vitriol. Raising his hands in the air in celebration
he seemed to make everyone chant at him.
He awoke from the vision clutching his head and
screaming.
“Harry! What is it? Is it your scar?” enquired Hermione.
Harry Potter nodded. It felt like he couldn’t talk. His
throat was dry. Pointing at it prompted Ron to thrust some butterbeer to him
which he gulped down in a few seconds. It was obvious that Harry had been
practicing his pint drinking skills in preparation for wizard university.
“Trump!” he gasped. “They were chanting it at me… at him…
Trump! Trump! Trump”
“They were chanting at you to fart?” Ron asked surprised.
“It sounds like they need to visit Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.”
“Ronald Weasley!” sighed Hermione. “Sometimes I wonder if
you ever pay attention in Muggle Studies. It must have been Donald Trump.”
“What?” said Ron. “The idiot who went bankrupt four times
and keeps forgetting where he lives and where he parked his plane, so he writes
his name in big letters on his things. Why would anyone be chanting his name?
That’s just ridiculous.”
“If you’d been paying any
attention recently, you would have realised that he’s running for the
presidency of America which is a very dangerous thing because quite frankly,
he’s a complete idiot,” explained Hermione. “Holy cricket! It all makes sense
now! His wig must be a horcrux. That explains a lot. Only dark magic could
trick almost half of the population that it would be a good idea to vote for
him! Once he’s become president, he’d basically be in charge of the world!”
“But we destroyed all the horcruxes. The last one was me!”
said Harry. If there was one thing he wanted to avoid, it was fighting Voldemort
again. It seems like he would be fighting him eternally in a magical version of
Groundhog Day.
“You were an accidental horcrux, though, Harry. Voldemort
never intended to create you. He made seven horcruxes. You were the eighth.
That means there’s one left.”
“And he’s put one in a muggle’s wig. That’s bloody clever
isn’t in, really. We’d never have thought to look there!” said Ron who was
almost impressed by how smart the dark lord actually is.
“Right. I’m going to sort this out right now. I’m sick of
this!” said Harry, getting to his feet. “You guys stay here. It’s not safe for
you. Hermione, you’d be in danger of sexual assault and Ron, I’m not sure what
his feelings are on gingers but he’s clearly a racist so it wouldn’t be too
much of a jump to assume he might also discriminate based on hair colour.”
“Harry, we’re coming with you, obviously.”
“Yeah mate, you can’t leave us behind. You tried that
before.”
“Fine. It didn’t work last time and it won’t work this
time either, will it? Come on then. Accio broomstick!” he shouted, and his
Nimbus 2000 came flying into his hand.
“Accio broomstick!” said Ron and Hermione simultaneously.
They flew across the Atlantic as fast as their
broomsticks could take them. They easily found the Horcrux. The human that
Voldemort had been controlling had a voice so loud that they could hear it as
soon as they’d got 20 miles west of Ireland. The stupid ignorant words that
were coming out of its mouth only served to motivate the three friends to
finally put an end to Tom Riddle once and for all.
They found him at an election rally the night before the
election. He was so into his blustering nonsense that he didn’t sense Harry’s presence
through their intimate connection.
“Accio wig” cast Ron hopefully.
Amazingly Trump’s wig flew straight into Ron’s hand.
“Wow! I wasn’t expecting that one to work.”
“Quick, Harry, the basilisk fang!”
Harry quickly got the fang from under his cloak and
stabbed it through the wig which was struggling in Ron’s hand. It instantly withered
and died. Harry’s felt pain greater than any pain that he had ever felt before.
“That’s it,” he said. “My scar doesn’t hurt. And I know
it won’t hurt any more. I felt him die. For good this time.”
The crowd seeing that Donald Trump had been lying about
having a wig for many years, realised that everything that he had been telling
them for the last year was a whole load of poppycock. They also realised that
his name meant fart, although they weren’t sure why. (It was a spell that
Hermione has secretly done under her breath to prove to Ron that she wasn’t as
stuffy and boring as he thought she was.) All the crowd immediately vowed to
vote for someone else.
The Election Day came and went. Ron, Hermione and Harry
stuck around in America to watch the results there. Partly because it was more
interesting to do so but partly because the frozen butterbeer you get in the
States is pretty amazing and they couldn’t go back without celebrating finally
killing the dark lord with a butterbeer bender.
“Potter! Grainger! Weasley!” screamed Professor
McGonagall as they flew back into Hogwarts the following, rather pleased with
themselves but hanging off the back of the broomsticks – metaphorically, not
literally.
Ron gulped.
“Yes, Professor?” said Potter.
“You know what the rules are on doing magic outside of
Hogwarts. You are forbidden to do so!”
Hermione started to look worried. She couldn’t have a
blotch on her record which might damage her chances of getting a job at the
Ministry of Magic.
“However, based on the circumstances and the fact that
you’ve averted unprecedented disaster and possibly the destruction of the
world, I feel I must award you a million points to Gryffindor! Do you fancy a
butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?”
“Hair of the dog?” said Ron.
“We’re in!” all three of them said in union.
Thursday 20 October 2016
Bucket List Item 13: Read War and Peace
I put Read War & Peace on my bucketlist when I made it a number of years ago. I can’t remember exactly why I put it on there. I think it was probably at least one of the following things:
1. The fact that I love reading and I wanted to put something related to reading on the list.
2. I’ve enjoyed the Russian literature that I have read.
3. Despite now having been there and being a bit underwhelmed by it, I have had a fascination with Russia for several years.
4. It is supposed to be a difficult book to read and I wanted to prove that I could do it.
5. I want to be able to say pretentiously to people that I have read it.
Jo bought me a lovely hardback version of the book for my birthday last year (now almost a year
ago), which I finished reading earlier this year. It took me several months to read. It’s a long book. But not only that, it’s a heavy book. That meant that it wasn’t too easy to transport and therefore I didn’t read it on the train which is my usual reading time. I ended up reading for a quarter of an hour every night before bed.
There are almost 600 characters and it isn’t really suited to this style of reading, especially with my concentration span. I would often forget who people were when I began reading the next day, let alone a few weeks later if they had gone out of the narrative for a while. As such, there are passages which I remember vividly - Pierre’s father’s death and the game of cards are two of them – and yet others which I barely remember happening at all.
This was brought out when we recently watched the BBC dramatisation of the novel. There were bits that I definitely don’t recall at all. Then again, there are bits which I am fairly sure Tolstoy didn’t write but were included because they were naughty bits and the BBC wanted ratings. It was really useful to see how it was condensed down to a 6 hour series, and I think I’m quite a visual person and being able to see the actors made it easier for me to remember which character was which, rather than getting lost in all of the words in the book.
I think I will definitely attempt to read it again at another point. I don’t think I got everything that I could out of it, however it won’t be for a while as my pile of books to read is almost as tall as me.
1. The fact that I love reading and I wanted to put something related to reading on the list.
2. I’ve enjoyed the Russian literature that I have read.
3. Despite now having been there and being a bit underwhelmed by it, I have had a fascination with Russia for several years.
4. It is supposed to be a difficult book to read and I wanted to prove that I could do it.
5. I want to be able to say pretentiously to people that I have read it.
Jo bought me a lovely hardback version of the book for my birthday last year (now almost a year ago), which I finished reading earlier this year. It took me several months to read. It’s a long book. But not only that, it’s a heavy book. That meant that it wasn’t too easy to transport and therefore I didn’t read it on the train which is my usual reading time. I ended up reading for a quarter of an hour every night before bed.
There are almost 600 characters and it isn’t really suited to this style of reading, especially with my concentration span. I would often forget who people were when I began reading the next day, let alone a few weeks later if they had gone out of the narrative for a while. As such, there are passages which I remember vividly - Pierre’s father’s death and the game of cards are two of them – and yet others which I barely remember happening at all.
This was brought out when we recently watched the BBC dramatisation of the novel. There were bits that I definitely don’t recall at all. Then again, there are bits which I am fairly sure Tolstoy didn’t write but were included because they were naughty bits and the BBC wanted ratings. It was really useful to see how it was condensed down to a 6 hour series, and I think I’m quite a visual person and being able to see the actors made it easier for me to remember which character was which, rather than getting lost in all of the words in the book.
I think I will definitely attempt to read it again at another point. I don’t think I got everything that I could out of it, however it won’t be for a while as my pile of books to read is almost as tall as me.
Monday 17 October 2016
Bucket List Item 50: Visit My Town's Twin Town
This has always been a thing I've been interested in. That the place where I live is somehow mysteriously linked with an enigmatic town in another country with an exotic sounding name.
Earlier this year I won an overnight trip on the Eurotunnel. I was trying to decide what to do with it when I realised I could finally visit one of these mysterious places in a faraway land.
Hythe where we live is twinned with two towns - Berck-sur-Mer in France and Poperinge in Belgium. As we had already booked our summer holiday for Marseilles, we decided to go to Belgium for this trip which we tied in with our anniversary celebrations. We booked a slightly extravagant hotel (we were being decadent) with a bed so big I couldn't reach the edges and a really cool bath and headed over. It also had free sherry and brandy. Winners.
It turns out that our twin towns aren't quite as faraway as I'd previously thought. It took us less time to get to Poperinge than it takes to get to Oxford or Southampton or anywhere else that seems like it should be nearer.
Jo managed to tick something off her unrecorded bucket list by driving in Europe whilst I navigated us there. These roles definitely work to our skillsets as I'm not keen on driving but I'm great at planning and I love maps, and vice versa for her.
I'm quite glad I waited until I had moved to Hythe to complete this item. I previously lived in Folkestone (admittedly only 10 minutes drive away) which is twinned with Etaples-sur-Mer. I don't know much about the place, but it definitely doesn't seem as interesting as Poperinge is.
I didn't know much about Poperinge either, really. I didn't even know how to pronounce the name (Popper-Ing-Err, if you're interested). However, I did know that the town had a lot of beer related connections which made me quite excited to visit.
We therefore made our first stop the Hopmuseum. It was informative and we got to smell a lot of hops but there was a lot less beer drinking involved as part of that tour than I had hoped there would be. I insisted then that we made our next stop a beer bar that they do so well in Belgium. I love anywhere that has a beer menu and the place that we found was fantastic, cheap and gave us free peanuts. We both had a local Poperinge beer which probably tasted even better due to having to wait so long for it.
I had wanted to eat at a restaurant called Markt 38 as according to Trip Advisor it is the best restaurant in the city. I didn't think that the best restaurant in the city might be fully booked on a Saturday night so we went to a hotel nearby to try more Poperinge beer and have quite a posh meal. Not as posh (or as expensive) as the breakfast we would have in our hotel the following day but quite posh, with an amazing local desert that I have completely forgotten the name of but was an apple and cinnamon thing which I completely recommend.
The other thing that the town is largely associated with is the First World War. One of the reasons it is linked with Hythe is Talbot House, a club for soldiers established by Lord Talbot of Hythe. Unfortunately we weren't able to visit - apparently they have lovely tea and cakes. There is a war memorial in the town and around 40 soldiers were executed in the city.
The following morning we took a visit to Lijssenthoek Military Cemetery. It is a ten minute drive
from the city and, as always with this sort of experience, is very humbling. The visitor centre gives you an idea of the size of the military hospital which in itself is mind blowing (around 4,000 patients at any one time) but then going out to see the graves of over 10,000 and being unable to comprehend what you are seeing, when it is still such a small portion of the total number of dead... it's one of those things that always hits me emotionally.
Overall, the city was a lovely place. It was great to also go somewhere that we knew next to nothing about and to learn the local history and sample the local food and drink.
Earlier this year I won an overnight trip on the Eurotunnel. I was trying to decide what to do with it when I realised I could finally visit one of these mysterious places in a faraway land.Hythe where we live is twinned with two towns - Berck-sur-Mer in France and Poperinge in Belgium. As we had already booked our summer holiday for Marseilles, we decided to go to Belgium for this trip which we tied in with our anniversary celebrations. We booked a slightly extravagant hotel (we were being decadent) with a bed so big I couldn't reach the edges and a really cool bath and headed over. It also had free sherry and brandy. Winners.
It turns out that our twin towns aren't quite as faraway as I'd previously thought. It took us less time to get to Poperinge than it takes to get to Oxford or Southampton or anywhere else that seems like it should be nearer.
Jo managed to tick something off her unrecorded bucket list by driving in Europe whilst I navigated us there. These roles definitely work to our skillsets as I'm not keen on driving but I'm great at planning and I love maps, and vice versa for her.
I'm quite glad I waited until I had moved to Hythe to complete this item. I previously lived in Folkestone (admittedly only 10 minutes drive away) which is twinned with Etaples-sur-Mer. I don't know much about the place, but it definitely doesn't seem as interesting as Poperinge is.
I had wanted to eat at a restaurant called Markt 38 as according to Trip Advisor it is the best restaurant in the city. I didn't think that the best restaurant in the city might be fully booked on a Saturday night so we went to a hotel nearby to try more Poperinge beer and have quite a posh meal. Not as posh (or as expensive) as the breakfast we would have in our hotel the following day but quite posh, with an amazing local desert that I have completely forgotten the name of but was an apple and cinnamon thing which I completely recommend.
The other thing that the town is largely associated with is the First World War. One of the reasons it is linked with Hythe is Talbot House, a club for soldiers established by Lord Talbot of Hythe. Unfortunately we weren't able to visit - apparently they have lovely tea and cakes. There is a war memorial in the town and around 40 soldiers were executed in the city.The following morning we took a visit to Lijssenthoek Military Cemetery. It is a ten minute drive
from the city and, as always with this sort of experience, is very humbling. The visitor centre gives you an idea of the size of the military hospital which in itself is mind blowing (around 4,000 patients at any one time) but then going out to see the graves of over 10,000 and being unable to comprehend what you are seeing, when it is still such a small portion of the total number of dead... it's one of those things that always hits me emotionally.
Overall, the city was a lovely place. It was great to also go somewhere that we knew next to nothing about and to learn the local history and sample the local food and drink.
Friday 23 September 2016
Duckman: The Origins
I'm going to let you into a secret. I'm a superhero.
I know, it's difficult to take in. Let me just remove my glasses. It will seem much more plausible then.
It all started when I was on "tour" with my band. We were staying at The Billing Aquadrome. The place is as wonderful as it sounds. I think the magic of the place might have been what caused me to turn into a superhero. It might be my radioactive spider.
Every superhero needs an origin story, and this is mine. It is not as heartbreaking as seeing my parents murdered. It's not as scientific as a spider bite. I'm not a multimillionaire. I haven't been able to make my own technology. I'm not a mutant (as far as I can tell).
All I have is my wits and a power to control the actions of ducks. Allow me to set the scene.
We were playing Olympic Frisbee. I say playing, we were training really. We never made it to Olympic standard. The reasons for this will become obvious shortly.
It was early in the morning. We'd just had a bit of breakfast and were in the process of waking up before we worked out our plan for the day. One of us - I can't remember who but it wasn't me as I'm awesome - failed to catch the Frisbee and it went into a nearby lake.
Everyone was distraught. They thought our game was over and the disc lost forever. Whilst they were busy crying and lamenting, I was not to be stopped.
"LEWIS! GET ME THE BREAD!" I commanded.
Lewis, being inferior to me in every way (although he never says it, I know he thinks of me as his hero), followed my every command. He hurried over to where our food supply was and brought me back a loaf of bread.
Using this as my conduit, I summoned the ducks nearby towards the Frisbee. Throwing bits of bread just in front of them where I wanted them to go I controlled them using nothing but the power of my mind to nudge the Frisbee back to us.
Everyone around bowed down at my feet, for they had never seen such a feat before. Women wanted to be with me. Men wanted to be me. The game of Olympic Frisbee continued.
This is how I became Duckman - controller of ducks using only the power of his mind! (And occasionally bread).
Duckman is looking for partners for a kick ass superhero team. Apply within.
I know, it's difficult to take in. Let me just remove my glasses. It will seem much more plausible then.
It all started when I was on "tour" with my band. We were staying at The Billing Aquadrome. The place is as wonderful as it sounds. I think the magic of the place might have been what caused me to turn into a superhero. It might be my radioactive spider.
Every superhero needs an origin story, and this is mine. It is not as heartbreaking as seeing my parents murdered. It's not as scientific as a spider bite. I'm not a multimillionaire. I haven't been able to make my own technology. I'm not a mutant (as far as I can tell).
 |
| Not an actual picture of me as Duckman. I like to keep my identity secret. |
All I have is my wits and a power to control the actions of ducks. Allow me to set the scene.
We were playing Olympic Frisbee. I say playing, we were training really. We never made it to Olympic standard. The reasons for this will become obvious shortly.
It was early in the morning. We'd just had a bit of breakfast and were in the process of waking up before we worked out our plan for the day. One of us - I can't remember who but it wasn't me as I'm awesome - failed to catch the Frisbee and it went into a nearby lake.
Everyone was distraught. They thought our game was over and the disc lost forever. Whilst they were busy crying and lamenting, I was not to be stopped.
"LEWIS! GET ME THE BREAD!" I commanded.
Lewis, being inferior to me in every way (although he never says it, I know he thinks of me as his hero), followed my every command. He hurried over to where our food supply was and brought me back a loaf of bread.
Using this as my conduit, I summoned the ducks nearby towards the Frisbee. Throwing bits of bread just in front of them where I wanted them to go I controlled them using nothing but the power of my mind to nudge the Frisbee back to us.
Everyone around bowed down at my feet, for they had never seen such a feat before. Women wanted to be with me. Men wanted to be me. The game of Olympic Frisbee continued.
This is how I became Duckman - controller of ducks using only the power of his mind! (And occasionally bread).
Duckman is looking for partners for a kick ass superhero team. Apply within.
Thursday 15 September 2016
Even Rocky had a montage...
There has been a thing going around on that there internet that they invented. It is to do with the fact that in the United States around 22 veterans of various ages commit suicide every day.
To raise awareness of this issue, a challenge has been going around to attempt to do 22 press ups a day for 22 days. The idea is that you video yourself doing it and tag a friend each day to get them to do the same.
My "friend" Steve Ashley tagged me in one of his videos, which I thought was a bit mean of him. I'm a man who likes a challenge though and so I decided to give it a go.
September also happens to be national suicide prevention awareness month. Anything that can reduce the stigma around suicide, whether caused by PTSD or one of many other factors is a good idea in my book. I think that nowadays
I decided to do the challenge a bit differently to others. I didn't want to upload a video on Facebook everyday because I am already narcisstic enough on there already as it is and seeing a video every day is bit like overkill. I also didn't want to annoy 22 other people by nominating them to do the challenge as well. If people want to, then fine. I didn't want to make anyone feel guilty for not doing it, or pressured into doing it.
I also thought that a montage would be much cooler.
I also chose to do the challenge as I know that I don't do enough exercise and in itself it is a good thing. Having the motivation to do so would be a good thing as I'm usually too lazy to force myself to do exercise. It turns out that doing press ups every day makes you better at press ups. Who would have thunk it? You will notice this if you watch the montage video.
Raising awareness is just one part of the solution and so I decided that I would donate money to the Royal British Legion. I chose to give them £22 as it was an important number in the challenge, plus £1 for every press up that I missed. One day I was so ill that I was only awake for 4 hours and so missed those press ups, and so I have donated £44.
Below are a montage video plus a video of all the press ups. If it looks like any are missing, then that's as a result of my poor editing rather than actually missing any.
Here is my montage video:
Or if you want to watch every single press up:
Saturday 23 July 2016
My 4 stages of confusion about Pokemon Go
Confusion Stage 1: What is Pokemon Go?
At this stage I was blissfully unaware of what Pokemon Go was. I had never played a pokemon game before and didn't understand what it was about, other than the fact that you have to catch them all. It sounded to me like an electronic version of a Panini football sticker book.
Adam was telling me about it a couple of weeks ago when he had managed to get the app via some super secret l337 haxxor method. Or something. He was extremely excited and giving me loads of information about what goes on. So I had some sort of understanding after this, but I was still really confused.
Adam's excitement about the matter persuaded me to download it. I wanted to be doing what all the cool kids do. This progressed me onto stage 2 of the process.
Confusion Stage 2: I don't understand Pokemon Go.
It was quite cute. I liked the fact that the warning when you load up the game is is "Don't walk into a Giant Monster's Mouth." It amused me enough to give the game a few goes. I didn't understand what was going on really and forgot that I had the app.
As a few more days passed and the app was all over the news and I spoke to more cool kids who were playing it, I started giving it a few more goes. I still didn't understand it but I carried on playing every so often for a few minutes on the walk to the supermarket.
Confusion Stage 3: Why am I addicted to Pokemon Go?
I have just been for a lovely 3 km walk. Unlike running, I do really enjoy walking. I find it a pleasant form of exercise, in which I can take in the lovely surroundings and learn about where I am. I really like reading the signs which tell you about local history, checking out the architecture, enjoying the seaside.
I popped into the library and borrowed a couple of books, discovered that they have a town history museum in there, learnt about my town, got a bit of sunshine and had a really nice time.
I would not have gone for this walk if I hadn't somehow become addicted to Pokemon Go. My route was basically dictated by where PokeStops are located in my town (5 within a minute's walk of my house - one of the many benefits to living in the town centre).
Transferring between stage 2 and stage 3 was when my understanding of the game clicked and I knew exactly what was going on. I don't know how this happened but it did.
What I can't understand though, is why I am addicted to it. All I am doing is walking and pushing a button on my phone every so often. I don't know why I want to do this but I want to. It's a really weird state to be in. Even after reading this article on the Forbes website, I am no closer to understanding.
Confusion Stage 4: Why is there a dying fish?
The Pokemon all seem to be based loosely on real life animals. This sort of makes sense. It allows kids to have an understanding of what the monsters are.
I was really freaked out by one that I caught last night, though.
Magikarp.
A fish.
Flapping around.
Out of water.
Dying.
Why does this exist?
So freaked out.
At this stage I was blissfully unaware of what Pokemon Go was. I had never played a pokemon game before and didn't understand what it was about, other than the fact that you have to catch them all. It sounded to me like an electronic version of a Panini football sticker book.
Adam was telling me about it a couple of weeks ago when he had managed to get the app via some super secret l337 haxxor method. Or something. He was extremely excited and giving me loads of information about what goes on. So I had some sort of understanding after this, but I was still really confused.
Adam's excitement about the matter persuaded me to download it. I wanted to be doing what all the cool kids do. This progressed me onto stage 2 of the process.
Confusion Stage 2: I don't understand Pokemon Go.
It was quite cute. I liked the fact that the warning when you load up the game is is "Don't walk into a Giant Monster's Mouth." It amused me enough to give the game a few goes. I didn't understand what was going on really and forgot that I had the app.As a few more days passed and the app was all over the news and I spoke to more cool kids who were playing it, I started giving it a few more goes. I still didn't understand it but I carried on playing every so often for a few minutes on the walk to the supermarket.
Confusion Stage 3: Why am I addicted to Pokemon Go?
I have just been for a lovely 3 km walk. Unlike running, I do really enjoy walking. I find it a pleasant form of exercise, in which I can take in the lovely surroundings and learn about where I am. I really like reading the signs which tell you about local history, checking out the architecture, enjoying the seaside.
I popped into the library and borrowed a couple of books, discovered that they have a town history museum in there, learnt about my town, got a bit of sunshine and had a really nice time.
I would not have gone for this walk if I hadn't somehow become addicted to Pokemon Go. My route was basically dictated by where PokeStops are located in my town (5 within a minute's walk of my house - one of the many benefits to living in the town centre).
Transferring between stage 2 and stage 3 was when my understanding of the game clicked and I knew exactly what was going on. I don't know how this happened but it did.
What I can't understand though, is why I am addicted to it. All I am doing is walking and pushing a button on my phone every so often. I don't know why I want to do this but I want to. It's a really weird state to be in. Even after reading this article on the Forbes website, I am no closer to understanding.
Confusion Stage 4: Why is there a dying fish?
The Pokemon all seem to be based loosely on real life animals. This sort of makes sense. It allows kids to have an understanding of what the monsters are.
I was really freaked out by one that I caught last night, though.
Magikarp.
A fish.
Flapping around.
Out of water.
Dying.
Why does this exist?
So freaked out.
Wednesday 13 July 2016
Pirates and Pirates and Pirates
It was Layla's birthday this week, which reminded me of something I've been meaning to write about for ages.
Once upon a time, in a field not too far away... Merton Farm in Canterbury, to be precise. At Lounge on the Farm. In the year two thousand and ten. The greatest band ever were formed!
We were at the festival for what I think was the second of the three years I went for, and Lynsey had started running a Quarterhouse Stage. Unfortunately they had a couple of performers drop out and were looking for replacements.
Stefan, probably fuelled by a beer or two at the time, suggested to her that he and I - who had never played music together previously - could fill a slot on the bill.
Me, probably fuelled by a beer or two at the time, went along with this and suggested that it would be a really great idea.
Lynsey, probably fuelled by whatever her choice of beverage is, was somehow convinced that we would actually be able to put on a performance and gave us a slow on Sunday afternoon, giving us a day and a half to get our shizzle together.
The first thing any band needs is a name. Then you know what sort of band you've got. There was a band playing at the festival called Cats and Cats and Cats. I had seen them earlier and thought they were quite good. Afterwards, I had nodded at one member of the band assuming that they were someone that I knew. They looked at me weirdly. I then realised that I knew who they were but that had no clue who I was.
Someone, I think James most likely, was telling me a story about how they had almost called themselves Parrots and Parrots and Parrots. "Pirates and Pirates and Pirates?" says I. "That's an awesome name, let's take it." So we did.
We managed to borrow an acoustic guitar. Neither Stefan nor I can sing. He told me I had to as the guitar was right handed, and with me being left handed, this was the logical way to arrange the band. I had never been encouraged to sing in a band before. Mainly because people I've been in bands with have heard me sing.
This gave us Saturday to write songs. We had to borrow Dan Light's diary so I could write lyrics down, and we sat around the campfire mainly writing songs about things that had happened to us over the course of the festival.
We wrote a song called No Cash Back about how the bars on site weren't giving any cash back so James had to walk into town to get to a cash machine. We wrote another called Hobo Joe about a guy called Joe who Dan Light found sleeping in his tent one evening. There was The Ballad of Dan Light about Dan Light graffiti which had been appearing mysteriously on site and which we had absolutely nothing to do with.
On Sunday morning, it was Layla's birthday. This is why I remembered that it was the 6th anniversary of the formation of the band when it was her birthday. Mainly because we then wrote a song about her birthday called Layla's Birthday. It lasts 10 seconds and has the lyrics "Layla, it's your birthday, but we're not celebrating."
For her birthday, Sophie had bought Layla a toy xylophone. This meant that she instantly made it into the band. Ben wanted to be in the band, and we wanted him to be in the band because he could actually sing. So he got in too. I seem to recall we also bought some sort of whistle from the Siesta tent for him to play as well. The drummer from Stefan's actual band was at the festival. Stefan grabbed him, some saucepans and wooden spoons and he became our drummer.
We rehearsed briefly as a full band and then at 4.30pm we were unleashed upon the unsuspecting world. We had been spreading the word a bit, and as it's quite a small festival we actually managed to get maybe 30 or 40 people we knew come along to watch us which I was extremely impressed with, especially as we had been talking down the band all weekend.
When we finished playing Hobo Joe, we discovered that Joe was actually a friend of a friend who had come along to watch us and that he was actually quite embarrassed by what had happened.
During the Ballad of Dan Light, Dan himself held up big bits of card which he had taped on True and False, to coincide with whether the statements about him were true of false. Attempting to "sing" the lyrics to the song whilst he was doing so is one of the funniest and most enjoyable memories that I've got.
We finished with a song called Thank You Lynsey thanking her for letting us play her stage. We added in information about things about her that Sophie had informed us about so we could embarrass her slightly, before legging it from the stage.
A few months later, Stefan came over to my house and we attempted to record the songs. There is a link below, but they are not as good as the originals, especially as they are lacking several instruments and I attempted the drums by filling a container with coins which really doesn't work.
Although the band never officially split up, they have been on an indefinite hiatus. Perhaps there will be a reunion one day. Judging from how many times my old band have had reunions, nothing can be ruled out.
The band:
Stewart Cork - "singing"
Stefan Birkett - guitar
Ben Bailes - vocals, whistle and pretend trumpet
Layla Silbert - toy xylophone
Tom the Drummer - pots and pans
Songs from Dan Light's Diary:
1 No Cash Back
2 Ballad of Dan Light
3 Hobo Joe
4 Piracy Funds Terrorism
5 Hotter Than The Med
6 Nice Guys Finish Last
7 Layla's Birthday
8 Thank You Lyndsey
A version of these songs can be heard at https://soundcloud.com/pirates-2/sets/songs-from-dan-lights-diary
 |
| Pirates and Pirates and Pirates supported by Hattie Hatstar |
We were at the festival for what I think was the second of the three years I went for, and Lynsey had started running a Quarterhouse Stage. Unfortunately they had a couple of performers drop out and were looking for replacements.
Stefan, probably fuelled by a beer or two at the time, suggested to her that he and I - who had never played music together previously - could fill a slot on the bill.
Me, probably fuelled by a beer or two at the time, went along with this and suggested that it would be a really great idea.
Lynsey, probably fuelled by whatever her choice of beverage is, was somehow convinced that we would actually be able to put on a performance and gave us a slow on Sunday afternoon, giving us a day and a half to get our shizzle together.
The first thing any band needs is a name. Then you know what sort of band you've got. There was a band playing at the festival called Cats and Cats and Cats. I had seen them earlier and thought they were quite good. Afterwards, I had nodded at one member of the band assuming that they were someone that I knew. They looked at me weirdly. I then realised that I knew who they were but that had no clue who I was.
Someone, I think James most likely, was telling me a story about how they had almost called themselves Parrots and Parrots and Parrots. "Pirates and Pirates and Pirates?" says I. "That's an awesome name, let's take it." So we did.
We managed to borrow an acoustic guitar. Neither Stefan nor I can sing. He told me I had to as the guitar was right handed, and with me being left handed, this was the logical way to arrange the band. I had never been encouraged to sing in a band before. Mainly because people I've been in bands with have heard me sing.
This gave us Saturday to write songs. We had to borrow Dan Light's diary so I could write lyrics down, and we sat around the campfire mainly writing songs about things that had happened to us over the course of the festival.
We wrote a song called No Cash Back about how the bars on site weren't giving any cash back so James had to walk into town to get to a cash machine. We wrote another called Hobo Joe about a guy called Joe who Dan Light found sleeping in his tent one evening. There was The Ballad of Dan Light about Dan Light graffiti which had been appearing mysteriously on site and which we had absolutely nothing to do with.
On Sunday morning, it was Layla's birthday. This is why I remembered that it was the 6th anniversary of the formation of the band when it was her birthday. Mainly because we then wrote a song about her birthday called Layla's Birthday. It lasts 10 seconds and has the lyrics "Layla, it's your birthday, but we're not celebrating."
For her birthday, Sophie had bought Layla a toy xylophone. This meant that she instantly made it into the band. Ben wanted to be in the band, and we wanted him to be in the band because he could actually sing. So he got in too. I seem to recall we also bought some sort of whistle from the Siesta tent for him to play as well. The drummer from Stefan's actual band was at the festival. Stefan grabbed him, some saucepans and wooden spoons and he became our drummer.
We rehearsed briefly as a full band and then at 4.30pm we were unleashed upon the unsuspecting world. We had been spreading the word a bit, and as it's quite a small festival we actually managed to get maybe 30 or 40 people we knew come along to watch us which I was extremely impressed with, especially as we had been talking down the band all weekend.
When we finished playing Hobo Joe, we discovered that Joe was actually a friend of a friend who had come along to watch us and that he was actually quite embarrassed by what had happened.
During the Ballad of Dan Light, Dan himself held up big bits of card which he had taped on True and False, to coincide with whether the statements about him were true of false. Attempting to "sing" the lyrics to the song whilst he was doing so is one of the funniest and most enjoyable memories that I've got.
We finished with a song called Thank You Lynsey thanking her for letting us play her stage. We added in information about things about her that Sophie had informed us about so we could embarrass her slightly, before legging it from the stage.
A few months later, Stefan came over to my house and we attempted to record the songs. There is a link below, but they are not as good as the originals, especially as they are lacking several instruments and I attempted the drums by filling a container with coins which really doesn't work.
Although the band never officially split up, they have been on an indefinite hiatus. Perhaps there will be a reunion one day. Judging from how many times my old band have had reunions, nothing can be ruled out.
The band:
Stewart Cork - "singing"
Stefan Birkett - guitar
Ben Bailes - vocals, whistle and pretend trumpet
Layla Silbert - toy xylophone
Tom the Drummer - pots and pans
Songs from Dan Light's Diary:
1 No Cash Back
2 Ballad of Dan Light
3 Hobo Joe
4 Piracy Funds Terrorism
5 Hotter Than The Med
6 Nice Guys Finish Last
7 Layla's Birthday
8 Thank You Lyndsey
A version of these songs can be heard at https://soundcloud.com/pirates-2/sets/songs-from-dan-lights-diary
Friday 3 June 2016
Bucket List Item #48: Climb Scafell Pike
Once upon a time, I went on a little road trip around England. One of the things I was wanting to do was to climb Scafell Pike. I ended up not doing so. For a few reasons.
1. It is really big and I am generally quite lazy.
2. I was on my own and thought I might navigate myself to certain doom.
3. The weather was supposed to be bad for climbing mountains.
So instead I did other things. However, climbing the mountain got put on my bucket list as a result of not climbing it. I resolved to do so when I wasn't so lazy, had someone to navigate me away from doom and when it wasn't so windy.
Therefore, I gathered a band of intrepid adventures and we made our way to the Lake District on holiday (having previously done a similar thing in Snowdonia at the same time last year) to complete this feat. Due to amazing planning, we were there the week that the wettest place in the country had its summer and all managed to get a little bit of a sunburn.The mountain is 980 metres high. This doesn't sound like much until you try to go that high. Then it sounds a lot harder. When you have been climbing an hour and still can't see the summit, it appears infinite.
Compared to Snowdon, it is actually smaller, however as a climb it is a lot more intense. Snowdown has more scrambly bits (I learnt that the technical term is scree) but also more flat bits. Scafell Pike is basically a 980 metre staircase. With big rocky stairs. I thought I knew what to expect having done Snowdon but this was a lot more intense. But we all managed it, see! Go team!
Several years ago, I always got confused by people who went up mountains because they were there. Now I am that kind of person, and I can recommend it. You get a great sense of achievement, and you feel like you are on top of the world (both literally and metaphorically) and that you can achieve anything. I would definitely recommend it, as long as you have some idea what you are letting yourself in for and prepare adequately in advance.
There has already been talk about doing Ben Nevis next year to complete what is one of the slowest Three Peaks challenges, I am just giving my body a little time to recover before telling it about this.
Sunday 24 April 2016
We could be heroes
Last week's Big Issue was a heroes edition. They had famouses talk to other famouses in the pretext of interviewing them so they didn't feel nervous and awkward about their desire to speak to another famous just because they were someone they admired.
The other day I went to see Richard Herring. I'm a bit of a fanboy of his. I have been a fan since
watching Fist of Fun and This Morning With Richard Not Judy (TMWRNJ) back when I was at school. I have seen him perform 4 or 5 times now, bought DVDs, listen to some of his many podcasts. I even got a bit excited when he emailed me back after I sent him an email about his Me 1 v Me 2 podcast where he plays himself at snooker.
I had an opportunity to meet him after the show. He was selling books and DVDs and chatting to fans. It wasn't a long queue and wouldn't have been too much of my time to queue up and meet him. The opportunity to meet my hero. And yet I didn't want to do it.
Thinking about why I didn't want to is a little odd. I know I'd want to say something clever or memorable. I also believe that I'd mess it up and say something stupid. I'm also not sure what I'd gain from a very short interaction with him.
When I was at university, I used to work for the local newspaper and I got to interview the big bands that came to town. I especially remember interviewing Stove, the bass player from Mansun who were (and still are) one of my favourite bands. If there was ever a time to be nervous and say something stupid to a famous, that was the time. However, I think I did fine - or at least as fine as any 18 year old can do when in that sort of situation.
Not wanting to meet my heroes is not a new thing. I support West Ham United and they came down to play against Folkestone in a pre-season friendly many years ago. My family when to the bar and meet the players and staff - including my 12 year old brother being offered a pint by Harry Redknapp - while I was sat in the stand with my friend. However, missing that experience isn't something I have ever regretted.
You're told that celebrities are just nice normal people like you or I (or at least you're told that some of them are). I think maybe that's the problem. I don't want them to be like me. I want them to have some sort of mystique. Something other worldly. Something that makes them more interesting than just a regular human.
And also, I think I'd want to say something cool but I know I'd just say something ridiculously embarrassing like squeaking out "You were a joy to watch."
The other day I went to see Richard Herring. I'm a bit of a fanboy of his. I have been a fan since
I had an opportunity to meet him after the show. He was selling books and DVDs and chatting to fans. It wasn't a long queue and wouldn't have been too much of my time to queue up and meet him. The opportunity to meet my hero. And yet I didn't want to do it.
Thinking about why I didn't want to is a little odd. I know I'd want to say something clever or memorable. I also believe that I'd mess it up and say something stupid. I'm also not sure what I'd gain from a very short interaction with him.
When I was at university, I used to work for the local newspaper and I got to interview the big bands that came to town. I especially remember interviewing Stove, the bass player from Mansun who were (and still are) one of my favourite bands. If there was ever a time to be nervous and say something stupid to a famous, that was the time. However, I think I did fine - or at least as fine as any 18 year old can do when in that sort of situation.
Not wanting to meet my heroes is not a new thing. I support West Ham United and they came down to play against Folkestone in a pre-season friendly many years ago. My family when to the bar and meet the players and staff - including my 12 year old brother being offered a pint by Harry Redknapp - while I was sat in the stand with my friend. However, missing that experience isn't something I have ever regretted.
You're told that celebrities are just nice normal people like you or I (or at least you're told that some of them are). I think maybe that's the problem. I don't want them to be like me. I want them to have some sort of mystique. Something other worldly. Something that makes them more interesting than just a regular human.
And also, I think I'd want to say something cool but I know I'd just say something ridiculously embarrassing like squeaking out "You were a joy to watch."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)