Wednesday 21 December 2016

A letter to Santa

I finally got round to writing my letter to Santa this year. As I might have missed the last post, I've decided to type it up in the hopes that he sees it one way or another.

Dear Santa,

I know I only write to you once a year. I really should try to keep in touch more, and I can only apologise for this. However, it is a two-way relationship and you can feel free to stop by any time for a cup of tea. If you let me know in advance, I'll get those cookies you like.

It's difficult to stay in touch tough - you seem to get busier the older you get and I can only assume that you've had to get the elves working even earlier this year with the world's population continuing to grow. I've lost touch with a few people that I used to be close with. I say this every year but I will try to do better at keeping in touch.

I think I've been quite good this year. I have been giving more to charity and I've been trying to help others when I can, so I'm hoping that I'm on the nice list. Therefore, I've got a few special things I'm asking for this year.

Whilst 2016 was a good year for me personally as I got engaged, it wasn't too great for the rest of the world. Let's start with the big one - politics. With the results of the EU referendum (is Lapland in the EU? I don't know), Donald Fart winning the US presidential election and the murder of Jo Cox MP, it seems like the right wing - specifically the extreme right - is on the rise.

I was hoping you might be able to do something about this? Maybe not remove all these people in power (although if you can get rid of Darth May, that would be excellent), but make people generally more tolerant and caring of other people, animals and the environment, then that would make me exceptionally happy. Less authoritarianism and more tolerance would be great. Perhaps you got some conservative MPs George Orwell's 1984 for Christmas last year? If so, can you please remind them that it is a dystopian novel and not a handbook on how to govern.

Next up is celebrities. Now, I'm not much of a celeb spotter. I don't know who at least two thirds of the humans on I'm A Celebrity are, but the rate at which they have been dying this year is ridiculous. I know that death is a natural and inevitable part of life, and also necessary otherwise your poor elves would never have a day off. But the rate at which people - cool people - have been going is ridiculous. Could you ask death to take someone that people don't like once in a while , such as Piers Morgan or Katie Hopkins?

Anyway, I know all of that is a lot to ask, and some of it is probably outside of your control, so if it can't be done, then some new socks will be fine.

Yours sincerely,
Stewart Cork

p.s. I know that I've been arguing quite a lot with people on the Hythe Residents Facebook page. I hope that hasn't got me on the naughty list. I'm just trying to stand up for all the people that need housing against the NIMBYs. You might not have that problem in Lapland as there's a lot of space there.

Monday 12 December 2016

2016 Reading Challenge

Natalie challenged me to do the 2016 reading challenge on 9gag

I love reading and I love challenges, so here goes! This required me to read 42 books. As I read over 60 last year, albeit aided by the fact I was spending two hours a day on a train, I thought I should be able to manage it!

I only just managed it with a few weeks to spare. I found that it forced me to read books that I perhaps wouldn't have read otherwise, which is a good thing. However, having to find books that fit certain categories meant that my pile of books to read (which is currently about 3 feet tall) didn't get much smaller. As such, I won't be doing a similar challenge next year as I want to try to get through as much of this pile as possible.

Below is a list of all the books that I picked and which category I picked them for. However, I will just list my 5 favourite books (in no particular order) that I read as part of this challenge and why.

Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory
I know people who have liked Iain Banks/Iain M Banks for years. I can't believe it took me so long to read one of his books for the first time. I borrowed this from the library and it was so good that I bought a copy from a charity shop straight after so that Jo can read it too. You really get into the mind of the character, and it is really engaging. The ending really surprised me as well, and it's always nice to get that engaged and still to not know where it is going.

Nathan Filer - Shock of the Fall
This was recommended to me by my sister-in-law and she picked a good one! It was partly inspired by the Wasp Factory - which Filer notes at the end of the book - and I had been able to tell that as I was reading. It was a very powerful book, and out of everything I read this year, was the most difficult book to put down.

Khaled Kosseni - The Kite Runner
A lot of people apparently hated this book. It was a book chosen as one about a culture I did not know about. The story involves a boy who moved from Afghanistan to America as a young child and goes back as an adult to deal with a problem. Again, I loved how you totally get into the mind of the main character. All of them are well written and you really start to feel for them. A great thing for a book to make you do.

Caitlin Moran - How to be a Woman
This was a book written by a celebrity, and is not a how to but an analysis of feminism and the problems that are still faced by women in society. It is also funny. I enjoyed reading this for both reasons.

Agatha Christie - Cat Among The Pigeons
I didn't realise this was a Poirot book until I was part of the way through it. It was frustrating at times, but this was only due to dramatic irony. Christie is obviously a world class crime writer and I really enjoy whodunnits.

And the award for the worst book I read this year is tied between James Dashner -  The Maze Runner and Kristen Simmons - Article 5. Avoid both at all costs.


A book based on a fairytale - Vivan Vande Velde - The Rumpelstiltskin Problem. Read while on holiday between 24 September and 1 October.

This was interesting. A guy who found problems with the story of Rumpelstiltskin and rewrote the story several times to deal with the problem. It was nice, but difficult to read all in one go due to the stories being so similar.

A National Book Award winner - Let the Great World Spin. Started on holiday between 24 Sept and 1 Oct. Finished 3d October,

This was really good. It is written in about 15 sections, each of which is from a different person's perspective. They don't all tie up neatly. Reading the second one, I was very confused about how it could possibly link to the first as it changed completely. Nevertheless, it was really good, really enjoyable.

A YA bestseller. Suzanne Collins: Hunger Games. Started 19th Jan, finished 3rd Feb.

I had wanted to read this for a while. Even though it is just Battle Royale. Which apparently the author had never heard of when she started writing this. It was engrossing and easy to read. Went through the 450 pages in no time when I had a chance to read. Will definitely be reading the others.

A book you haven't read since high school: Lord of the Flies. Started 10 February, finished 17 February

I studied this for GCSE English and remembered enjoying it. It turns out I didn't remember much of it. There's so much that I'd forgotten and so much that I am sure I wouldn't have understood fully when I was younger either. This was quite enlightening and might even tempt me to re-read Wuthering Heights which is my most hated book.

A book set in your home state - HE Bates - The Darling Buds of May. Read during November

Apparently this is set in Kent, although I didn't notice any references during the book. It was quite short but pretty enjoyable. I'd forgotten pretty much everything about the  TV show so wasn't sure what was coming. There are questionable morals within the book but it is really well written and easy to read.

A book translated to English. Jonas Jonasson. The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden. Started 10th May. Finished 24th May.

I had read the 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed out A Window and Disappeared which I loved. This was possibly even better. The style of writing is really easy and fun to just dive into.

A romance set in the future - Kurt Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse 5. Started 19th September. Finished 23rd September.

Not set in my future as such, but the future from when this was written. It was a bit confusing. I had only read one book by Vonnegut before - Welcome to the Monkey House - but I liked it so much that it made it onto my list of favourite books when I wrote it in 2014. I had recently read it, so that is probably why it was on there. This seemed different to me, although I'll probably re-read it at some point to try to fully digest it as I did get a wee bit lost.

A book set in Europe - Milan Kundera - The Joke. Started 31st October. Finished in November.

This was a bit difficult to follow at first due to the changing perspectives but once I got my head around it, it was really good. Kundera has a good grasp on how to write a satirical novel. It was also a little frightening that a joke can be taken so out of context and cause so many problems for one person. Quite relevant now Darth May has enacted her snoopers charter.

A book that's under 150 pages. Thomas Pynchon. The Crying of Lot 49. Started 22nd April, Finished 29th April.

This is a book that inspired Radiohead who I was obsessed with when I was at university. I have been intending to read it since then but only just got around to it. It's good. It's not what I was expecting, but it's good.

A New York Times bestseller. Nick Hornby - Slam. Started 1st September. Finished 3rd September.

This was so easy to read. I love Hornby's stuff and initially I wasn't sure if I'd get into this one but after a few chapters I was hooked and blasted through it. Lovely stuff.

A book that's becoming a movie this year. Marvel: Civil War. Started 18 February. Finished 23rd February.

I love comics! Yeah! A way to get an extra graphic novel on this list. I only started reading them properly a few years ago, and then it was primarily Batman. It's nice to read a wider range, although I get lost by all the characters and stories that there are.

A book recommended by someone you just met - Upton Sinclair - The Jungle. Started 17th October. Finished 31st October.

This was recommended by a guy in Foyles who looked at the other two books I had in their 3 for 2 offer and helped me find something which he thought I would like. It was really interesting to see a depiction of how the working poor lived in early 20th century America. There are a lot of similarities to problems that are inherent in the culture these days and it is disheartening to see that over 100 years later, we haven't - as a culture - managed to solve them yet.

A self-improvement book. Nigel Watts - Teach Yourself Writing a Novel. Started 18th July. Finished 23rd July.

I have been wanting to write a novel for quite some time. I've had the outline of an idea and this helped motivate me to do some more work on it and gave me ideas of the technical things to think about.

A book you can finish in a day. Neil Gaiman. How the Marquis Got His Coat Back. Read on the morning of Friday 22nd April

I love Gaiman's style. It really draws you in. I don't think I'd read any of the Neverwhere books before but it wasn't too difficult to understand what was going on. I recommend for an hour long read.

A book written by a celebrity. Caitlin Moran. How to Be a Woman. Started 29th April. Finished 10th May.

I really enjoyed this. I like to think I'm liberal and egalitarian but it was great reading this to get more of a female perspective and all that.

A political memoir - Barack Obama - The Audacity of Hope. Started 12th July. Finished 19th September.

This was enjoyable, especially so because it was written before he became the candidate for President. It filled me in on his previous life, and some of the workings of the US election system. The bit when he met Michelle was also quite cute.

A book that's at least 100 years older than you. William Shakespeare. Taming of the Shrew. Started 6th June. Finished: 7th June.

We saw this on 11th June. I read it in two days in advance. I enjoyed it, although the male/female dynamic in the play is awkward.

A book that's more than 600 pages. Leo Tolstoy. War and Peace. Started 3rd January. Finished 15th July.

Full Blog Post as it is on my bucket list.

A book from Oprah's Book Club. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. 100 Years of Solitude. Read during November.

I had read this when I was much younger. It was difficult to follow with all the Spanish naming conventions and everyone having very similar names. I liked it though, but I lost the flow of the whole novel at times.

A science-fiction novel. HG Wells - War of the Worlds. Started 23rd July. Finished 2nd August.

HG Wells lives down the road from me. Or he used to. His house is still there. And I guess it's not literally down the street. You have to go round the corner as well. I've wanted to read this for a long time - ever since I heard the David Essex soundtrack back when I was around 8, and I finally got around to it. I really enjoyed it. I felt it was a much easier to read than The Island of Doctor Moreau which I had read earlier this year. Two thumbs up.

A book recommended by a family member. Nathan Filer. The Shock of the Fall. Started 11th August. Finished 16th August.

I asked my sister-in-law Hannah to recommend a book and she picked this. It reminded me of the Wasp Factory which I had read a week or so previously, and I discovered that in the interview at the back, he mentioned Iain Bank's Frank. It was good, and the first book to make me cry in a really long time.

A book that is published in 2016. JK Rowling. Harry Potter - all three Pottermore Presents books.

These were fun if not the extra stories that I was hoping for. It was nice that some character details were filled in, and it was cool to hear some bits from JK Rowling on the decisions she made in writing the books. It was also nice to have a recap of some of the key story points (as they tie in with certain characters biographies) shortly before going to watch the play in November.

A Graphic Novel. Chuck  - Fight Club 2. Started 20th July, Finished 22nd July.

It was interesting, if a little odd at times. It was maybe trying to be a bit too meta and to push the conventions of graphic novels in general (such as being able to read what people were saying). It also didn't really show how it got from the end of the original novel to this. Not bad, but not great.

A book with a protagonist who has your occupation. Rosy Barnes. Sadomasochism for Accountants. Read while on holiday between 24 Sep and 1 Oct.

There aren't many books or stories with accountants in at all. The only other one I can think of is The Producers. I quite like my job. I'm good at it, but I'll be the first to admit it isn't very exciting or interesting to people who don't do it. The idea of taking accountants and putting them in a fetish club scenario was quite amusing. I quite enjoyed this book. It was good holiday reading.

A book that takes place during summer. The Great Gatsby. Started 16th August. Finished 23rd August.

I read this for the first time last year. As soon as I finished reading it, I thought that I wanted to read it again. This gave me the perfect excuse. It was better second time around, definitely. I did struggle every time a character said "of" and not "have" to not then rip up the whole book, though.

A book and it's prequel. James Dashner. Maze Runner and Kill Order. Started 4th October. Finished 17th October.

These books are so badly written. I really don't know what to say about them. The most annoying this is that there are a few interesting ideas but there is never any payoff. You never get to understand what has caused this world to be. That's on top of all the poor storytelling, lack of emotional connection with the characters. I am annoyed by the person on Goodreads who suggested these two books for this challenge.

A murder mystery. Agatha Christie. Cat Among The Pigeons. Started 15th March. Finished 21st March.

I didn't realise this was a Poirot book when I started reading it. It was enjoyable yet frustration. The employment of dramatic irony just made me want to jump into the book, shout at characters and tell them what was going on!

A book written by a comedian. Simon Pegg - Nerd Do Well. Started 3rd September.

This was another autobiography and I found it really interesting. There were some fiction bits in amongst the anecdotes which were ok but I found superfluous to requirements. The discussion about decisions made whilst making some of my favourite TV shows and films was enjoyable and there was also a lot of discussion that would be more suited to a film studies lesson - which I enjoyed.

A dystopian novel. Kristen Simmons. Article 5. Started 23rd February. Finished 11th March.
This was easily the worst book I'd read so far. It made me hate the main character which is never a good state to be in. It was similar in style and target audience to the Hunger Games but didn't grip me in the same way and was much more poorly written.

A book with a blue cover: Ray Bradbury. We'll Always Have Paris. Started 28th April. Finished 10th May.

A book of short stories, some of them were brilliant and engaging.

A book of poetry. Shakespeare's Sonnets. Started 14th January. Finished 19th January.

I read Bill Bryson's Shakespeare biography over Christmas. Whilst going to a performance of every one of his plays is on my bucket list, I hadn't paid much attention to the poetry before. I was quite surprised. It was more engaging than I expected it to be, and also it was interesting to note that not everything rhymed when it was supposed to, so it showed how much the English language had changed in the last 400 years.

The first book you see in a bookstore. JK Rowling - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Read 5th - 10th December.

This is probably the first book everyone sees in any bookstore for the latter half of this year. Each book shop seems to have about 50,000 copies of it.

This book is the script to the play. I didn't want to read it until after I had seen the play. This was a good idea, because the script on it's own isn't anywhere near as good as seeing the play, and I can understand why some fans weren't too impressed by it. I didn't like the time travel element but this is mainly because I don't like time travel but I understand what it was trying to do. I think I'd have preferred a new story entirely but enjoyable nonetheless.

A classic from the 20th Century. Brideshead Revisited. Started 2nd August. Finished 10th August.

I had no idea what this book was going to be about but the name had always intrigued me. In feel, for some reason it felt like an English Great Gatsby. Unlike some classics, I found it quite easy to follow and enjoyed it.

A book from the library. Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory. Started July 29th. Finished August 2nd.

I can't believe I hadn't read this before. It is awesome. If you've not read it, I recommend it. The way it reveals information piece by piece is very well done. It's a really well written and well structured book. And the end. Did not see that coming.

An autobiography. John Cleese. So Anyway... Started 27th May. Finished: 14th June.

This only really goes up to the start of the Pythons. Enjoyable, you really get a sense of who John Cleese is.

A book about a road trip. Terry Darlington. Narrow Dog To Carcassonne. Started 21st March. Finished 20th April.

Technically a book about a boat trip. A retired couple who - against pretty much all advice - sail a narrow boat across the channel and to the south of France. Enjoyable and stylistically the writing reminded me a bit of how my dad writes.

A book about a culture you are unfamiliar with. The Kite Runner. Started 23rd August. Finished 1st September.

About Afrghanistan and a boy who leaves to go to America and returns a man. A lot of people said they didn't get on with this buy I'm not sure why. It pulled at the heartstrings well and while some bits seemed predictable, there were twists and turns. I found this easy to read and would definitely recommend.

A satirical book. Voltaire - Candide. Started reading 23rd September. Finished early October.

I read this whilst on Holiday. I've forgotten what I thought about this.

A book that takes place on an island. The Island of Dr Moreau. Started June 20th. Finished July 18th.

I picked this partly due to it's significance in Orphan Black. It was good, but at times I struggled to get into it.

A book that's guaranteed to bring you joy. Bill Bryson. The Road to Little Dribbling. Started 12th September. Finished 19th September

I assumed this would bring me joy as I've really liked Bryson's other work and I like his writing style. It was still amusing in places but he has turned into a bit of a grumpy old man now.